Taste the Difference

This morning, I got into an interesting discussion with one of my 5-year-olds. I was in the process of fixing my lunch to take to work with me. The only time I can squeeze this in is while my boys are eating their breakfast. Today, they were sitting on stools at the counter where I was putting together my lunch.

As it turns out, today is leftover day. BUT, unlike some other times, I was really looking forward to this one. My wife fixed a pork roast the other day, and because she is a brilliant cook, it always tastes wonderful. She slow-cooks it all day in the Crock-pot, and by the time we get home, it literally falls apart and melts in your mouth. She doesn’t use too much seasoning, because the method of preparation retains much of the natural flavor of the pork, and keeps it nice and tender. Is your mouth watering? It should be.

So, today, I’m scooping the rest of the pork from one large container into a smaller container that will fit in my lunch bag. Then, because I am a NUT for spicy food, and because I feel less guilty about it with leftovers than with first-run meals, I poured some buffalo wing sauce into another container to pour over the pork after I’d reheated it in the microwave at work. Yeah—I know! AWESOME!

While I’m pouring the sauce, my son looks at me and says, “What is that, daddy?” So I told him, “Buffalo Sauce. It’s really spicy!” I figured he and his brother would then go off on a tangent about the spicy part of the statement. Instead, they laughed and said, “Buffalo!” Over and over. (They are five, they are boys—it’s what they do.) Finally, one of them said, “Is it made from Buffalo?” I explained that it was called that because the sauce was first made in a city called Buffalo, New York. (It’s True. LOOK IT UP!)

After my dissertation on the origins of Buffalo sauce, and my comments to the grand and wonderful culinary delight one experiences upon eating Buffalo sauce, the first one said, “I’ll just call it Barbeque sauce.” Now, as one who has an appreciation for both of the sauces, I realized that this was a total faux-pas, and must be corrected. RIGHT! Try telling a 5-year-old anything. Needless to say, we just had to agree to disagree on that point, but there will come a day, when they are ready, that I will introduce the boys to the joy and bliss that is Buffalo sauce.

Anyway, this got me thinking. How many times do we try to explain a positive idea or experience we’ve had to someone who has never been through the same thing? Isn’t it interesting that we get frustrated when they don’t seem to “get it?” Or worse—when they just flat out disagree, even when they’ve never had the same experience.

I have heard stories of people who try to share their faith with others, only to have them misunderstand what they are talking about, or not even be willing to listen, because they just know it’s “not for them.” When we talk about our experiences as followers of Christ, we are taken to a place where our emotions and memories are stirred, and telling the story is much like reliving an event. It can be an uplifting experience. But, we can’t expect others who have never shared in this same thing to just come on board and immediately be as gung-ho and excited as we are.

I have found with my boys that when it comes to food, it doesn’t really work to say repeatedly with greater and greater force, “Oh come on, you’ll like it!” It also doesn’t work to tell them how excited my mouth gets with some of my favorite foods. Instead, I simply put a small amount on my fork, let them see it, give them a chance to smell it, and then make this offer, “I really think you would enjoy tasting this. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to try anymore.” It sounds a bit silly and elementary, but it works much of the time.

I wonder if there’s a similar approach to sharing our faith with others? I think if we become the “small taste” of what it means to be a Christian by the way we love and treat others, we stand a greater chance of successfully inviting them to try one worship service, or to attend a Bible Study with us for that first time. If they see the joy we have and experience the love we can share, then it becomes a real, even if tiny, experience of what we hope they will come to know for themselves.

The other thing I feel like we do poorly is to give people permission to reject our invitations. I know that popular teaching is that “Today may be the last day of your life!” I understand that, and I do know the urgency. BUT, unfortunately, with some people, that just comes across as nagging and judgmental. We don’t need to lay a guilt trip on them if they don’t have a positive experience at our church. We need to reaffirm our commitment to the friendship, and continue to allow them the tiny experiences through us. We can tell them stories about what we did, express our reactions to powerful worship services, and even introduce them to other believers who can offer the same warmth and welcoming attitude. (But, you don’t want to intimidate them, so go easy on that last part!)

The truth is, some people will never agree to agree with us on anything from spiritual beliefs to buffalo sauce and ice-cream being equal parts of nectar from heaven. All we can do is provide the opportunities for them experience what we have. Sometimes it takes patience and waiting for the appropriate time. My sons are NOT ready for wing night at the house, but in a few years, and much to the dismay of my wife, that may be one of our weekly bonding times. For now, I’ll just have to let them call it Barbeque, since they have never experienced the difference, anyway!