Freedom Is Here

For anyone who knows me at all, it’s no secret that once I had kids, I discovered my own control issues. The biggest symptom of the problem has been my temper. I’ve been pretty up front about it with others, and used it as teaching examples of how we all have different things that haunt us. I’ve prayed about it, cried about it, asked for much advice and prayer from others, and just when I think I’m getting a leg up, another bad day comes along and leaves me lashing out at the kids over something that really is small and insignificant.

Now, for the record, I have not abused my kids, and I’m not just a 24/7 scream machine. I just believe that there are better ways to discipline my own children, and so as a consequence, I’m harder on myself than I need to be about the occasional lapse in judgment. My parents encourage me by assuring me that it happened to them many more times than I actually remember. In fact, one such incident that I don’t remember but have been told about is me and my brother fighting when we were older kids, and my mom finally had enough and threw us out of the house for awhile. Apparently one of us was in our underwear...maybe it was me and I’ve just blocked the memory. To this day, I don’t remember the encounter at all.

Regardless of what your feelings are about my parenting skills, at the end of the day, I have to be able to look in the mirror and be okay with the kind of dad I am. But really, that’s not even accurate either. At the end of the day--I need to be able to seek God’s guidance and wisdom, and allow HIM to correct, shape, encourage, or whatever HE chooses to make me the kind of dad He made me to be.

Unfortunately, I’m not always in the right state of being to get to that place, and I walk around with guilt over a shouting fit, or a punishment for my kids that didn’t fit their crime. This is where the doubts come in: “...you’re a terrible dad--good dads don’t yell at their kids. Good dads don’t spank their kids when they’re angry. If you were a good father, you’d stop thinking about how annoyed you are and would focus more on their wants…”

This is not the voice of God. These thoughts are flaming arrows from the enemy, targeted at a weak spot in my armor. When they land just right, the flames of guilt engulf me, and keep me from moving forward and learning from my mistakes.

Here’s where Freedom comes in. There’s a song that Hillsong United sings that I’ve heard several times now at different events, and I’m beginning to internalize the message of it:

And everything comes alive
In my life as we lift You higher
Let Your freedom arise
In our lives as we lift You up
Sing it out
Sing it out
Your freedom is here

When I’m struggling with guilt, I need to remember that God’s grace covers all the sins I’ve committed--including the mistakes I have made as a parent. That forgiveness gives me another chance to get it right, and hope that my kids won’t be nearly as messed up because of it as I dread. When I lift up God’s Grace, and worship Him for who He is, Freedom comes alive in my life. That guilt is melted away. When I go and apologize to my kids for shouting, I’m having to exercise humility. When I humble myself, God is made greater, and the remaining chains of guilt are broken free.

God’s freedom extends for all sins. We may still have to deal with real consequences of our actions, but our spirits can be set free from the bondage that sin causes, and eventually, we can learn to drop those oppressive holds faster and sooner. We don’t want to sin more just to make that grace look better (See Romans 6), but we know that we will mess up, and when we do, our repentance and humility before God will allow Him to come in and heal us, restore our hope, and give us the strength we need to move on.

What chains hold you down? Is your hope being swallowed up by the flames of doubt and discouragement? Open your heart to God’s forgiveness, and experience freedom like you never have before.

Just because I like the song, here’s a quick listen...