Painted Days

We finally got around to doing some painting at our house. We moved in a few months ago, and I was convinced that with a few pictures and maybe some curtains and stuff, white walls were sufficient and looked nice. However, with a baby on the way, I agreed with my wife that a bit of paint in the nursery would help. After all, my other sons have posters of Batman, Transformers, and Pixar’s CARS all over the walls, so why shouldn’t the baby get some kind of decoration?

What started out as the baby’s room became a discussion about doing the family room as well. (I think I got suckered, but the jury is still out on that one.) Then, we decided that since we would have those two rooms, we might as well go ahead and connect them by painting the hallway in between them.

So, after two very long days of taping baseboards and ceilings--because I don’t trust my ability to stop exactly at the corner, and moving all kinds of furniture, and applying what ended up being a combination of 11 coats of paint to the walls, and then cleaning up all the rollers, brushes, and pans, and taking roughly 14 ibuprofen to deal with the “paint fume headache,” the job was done.

The first thing I thought about was how disappointing it was. NOT because it looked bad, but because of the exact opposite. It looked SO good that it made the remaining walls look pretty plain and institutional. I appreciate the new paint and really do like it a lot, but now I dread the standard that has been set in the house. (Disclaimer: I realize that anyone who now sees my house has their expectations lifted to way beyond what is currently real in our house. This is not my fault, and I can’t be held responsible if you don’t have the same tastes as my wife and me. Besides, we’re the ones who live there, not you.)

There are days in my life when I am incredibly productive at work, I am a prime candidate for the “Second-Best Father of All Time” with my kids, I make even the most hardened stranger smile with my warm greetings, and the days when I can do no wrong. Unfortunately, there are also days when I’d be lucky to pull off a mediocre rating on anything. The problem is when I compare the two days. The “okay” day only looks worse next to the really good day. Maybe I should stop the comparison…

No two days are alike. What happens on Monday cannot realistically be duplicated on Tuesday, because what happened on Saturday and Sunday affects Monday, and since you then must throw Monday in the mix that can change and sour or lighten you mood and distort your normal sleep routines causing a whole array of mental and synaptic irregularities, Tuesday simply cannot rationally be compared to or live up to the same standards and expectations Monday held. Therefore, one cannot logically use one day as a standard by which to measure the quality of another day. As the old saying goes, “It’s like comparing apples and Mack Trucks.”

The way I see it, each day is a gift anyway. I’m going to try and enjoy each day for what it is, and welcome the challenges that come my way as an opportunity to grow stronger and hopefully more wise. Yes, I drop that ball by 8:45 AM on many days, but I like to think of it as “dribbling.” Whatever your method to the madness, recognize that every morning is a new day, and while we all have different struggles, we have the choice to look for the blessings and lessons that God can give us through all circumstances, or we can pack it up and just sleep until tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll pull out your glasses!

Blessing in Room 473

Part of my job is taking a day to visit church members who might be in the hospital. I know, it sounds so impersonal when I say it like that. But the truth is, I KNOW that’s a part of this job and I have known it, and while it’s not something I consider myself to be really “good at,” I do enjoy the chance to visit with people.

Usually I just hope I don’t put my foot in my mouth accidentally, and pray that I didn’t embarrass myself too much. I can only hope that my visits bring a small measure of meaning to those that I go to see. Almost all the time, God is good, and my visits end up being a blessing for me—probably far more than the patients!

Today I had the privilege of seeing a couple. The husband was in the hospital, and his wife was there with him, doing her part to take care of him. At first, a nurse was in the room getting this gentleman set up with some kind of breathing treatment. As a result, he couldn’t actually talk for the first ten minutes I was there, but I promised him I’d wait until he was done so I could talk with him, too.

By the end of the visit, I knew several things about this couple that impressed and inspired me. For starters, they have been married for sixty-six years. In today’s world, that’s saying much, and sets a great example for younger married couples.

I learned that this particular gentleman served his country and was active in World War II. I have always admired and appreciated those who serve in the armed forces. I support all of our active troops as well as veterans through the years. These men and women take on the mantle of service, and many times are put into situations and areas where they would not choose to visit in any stage in life, but because of their pledge, they go where the orders lead. Regardless of our political views and whether or not we agree with the decisions made, we should always offer our support and thanks for the men and women who put themselves in harm’s way to protect our American way of life.

Two times in his 70’s, this man bicycled his way across the County. Once from California to Florida, and the other time from California to New England. Both trips were completed in under 50 days. I wonder if I can even bicycle for 50 minutes without collapsing!

During the conversation, this couple mentioned all the time they spend with their great-grandchildren. I believe they are truly blessed to have such close relationships with their family, and are physically healthy enough to stay involved. (Don’t let the hospital visit fool you, it was a temporary set-back, but this couple still stays active!)

In general, this visit served to remind me that life is a gift from God. No area of it should be taken for granted, and we should certainly not squander our days whining about what we don’t have. Instead, we should look for blessings everywhere, and take our definition of “blessing” out of the box, and allow ourselves to receive whatever form or fashion of blessing God sends our way.

Today, I was blessed with the opportunity to visit a wonderful couple in the hospital. Can’t say I woke up expecting to find a blessing there—but will go to bed tonight remembering it, and thanking God for it!

Taste the Difference

This morning, I got into an interesting discussion with one of my 5-year-olds. I was in the process of fixing my lunch to take to work with me. The only time I can squeeze this in is while my boys are eating their breakfast. Today, they were sitting on stools at the counter where I was putting together my lunch.

As it turns out, today is leftover day. BUT, unlike some other times, I was really looking forward to this one. My wife fixed a pork roast the other day, and because she is a brilliant cook, it always tastes wonderful. She slow-cooks it all day in the Crock-pot, and by the time we get home, it literally falls apart and melts in your mouth. She doesn’t use too much seasoning, because the method of preparation retains much of the natural flavor of the pork, and keeps it nice and tender. Is your mouth watering? It should be.

So, today, I’m scooping the rest of the pork from one large container into a smaller container that will fit in my lunch bag. Then, because I am a NUT for spicy food, and because I feel less guilty about it with leftovers than with first-run meals, I poured some buffalo wing sauce into another container to pour over the pork after I’d reheated it in the microwave at work. Yeah—I know! AWESOME!

While I’m pouring the sauce, my son looks at me and says, “What is that, daddy?” So I told him, “Buffalo Sauce. It’s really spicy!” I figured he and his brother would then go off on a tangent about the spicy part of the statement. Instead, they laughed and said, “Buffalo!” Over and over. (They are five, they are boys—it’s what they do.) Finally, one of them said, “Is it made from Buffalo?” I explained that it was called that because the sauce was first made in a city called Buffalo, New York. (It’s True. LOOK IT UP!)

After my dissertation on the origins of Buffalo sauce, and my comments to the grand and wonderful culinary delight one experiences upon eating Buffalo sauce, the first one said, “I’ll just call it Barbeque sauce.” Now, as one who has an appreciation for both of the sauces, I realized that this was a total faux-pas, and must be corrected. RIGHT! Try telling a 5-year-old anything. Needless to say, we just had to agree to disagree on that point, but there will come a day, when they are ready, that I will introduce the boys to the joy and bliss that is Buffalo sauce.

Anyway, this got me thinking. How many times do we try to explain a positive idea or experience we’ve had to someone who has never been through the same thing? Isn’t it interesting that we get frustrated when they don’t seem to “get it?” Or worse—when they just flat out disagree, even when they’ve never had the same experience.

I have heard stories of people who try to share their faith with others, only to have them misunderstand what they are talking about, or not even be willing to listen, because they just know it’s “not for them.” When we talk about our experiences as followers of Christ, we are taken to a place where our emotions and memories are stirred, and telling the story is much like reliving an event. It can be an uplifting experience. But, we can’t expect others who have never shared in this same thing to just come on board and immediately be as gung-ho and excited as we are.

I have found with my boys that when it comes to food, it doesn’t really work to say repeatedly with greater and greater force, “Oh come on, you’ll like it!” It also doesn’t work to tell them how excited my mouth gets with some of my favorite foods. Instead, I simply put a small amount on my fork, let them see it, give them a chance to smell it, and then make this offer, “I really think you would enjoy tasting this. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to try anymore.” It sounds a bit silly and elementary, but it works much of the time.

I wonder if there’s a similar approach to sharing our faith with others? I think if we become the “small taste” of what it means to be a Christian by the way we love and treat others, we stand a greater chance of successfully inviting them to try one worship service, or to attend a Bible Study with us for that first time. If they see the joy we have and experience the love we can share, then it becomes a real, even if tiny, experience of what we hope they will come to know for themselves.

The other thing I feel like we do poorly is to give people permission to reject our invitations. I know that popular teaching is that “Today may be the last day of your life!” I understand that, and I do know the urgency. BUT, unfortunately, with some people, that just comes across as nagging and judgmental. We don’t need to lay a guilt trip on them if they don’t have a positive experience at our church. We need to reaffirm our commitment to the friendship, and continue to allow them the tiny experiences through us. We can tell them stories about what we did, express our reactions to powerful worship services, and even introduce them to other believers who can offer the same warmth and welcoming attitude. (But, you don’t want to intimidate them, so go easy on that last part!)

The truth is, some people will never agree to agree with us on anything from spiritual beliefs to buffalo sauce and ice-cream being equal parts of nectar from heaven. All we can do is provide the opportunities for them experience what we have. Sometimes it takes patience and waiting for the appropriate time. My sons are NOT ready for wing night at the house, but in a few years, and much to the dismay of my wife, that may be one of our weekly bonding times. For now, I’ll just have to let them call it Barbeque, since they have never experienced the difference, anyway!

Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes, I wonder why I even try to, well, try. When I was working at a church in Knoxville, TN, our church was located one block from a Texaco Gas station with a mini-mart. One afternoon, our deacon chairman happened to be doing some work at the church and told us he was walking to the Texaco to get a snack. Just a few minutes after he left, it started raining. Feeling bad, I hopped in my car and drove to the station to pick him up so he wouldn’t get caught in the rain. I got there as he was checking out, and he declined the offer, having thought to bring an umbrella. So, I got in the car to leave. As I was backing up (Since someone else had illegally parked in front of me), I didn’t notice the concrete post that was about two feet tall just behind the right side of my car. I turned the wheel in order to get out, and cracked my bumper on the post. The chairman came out and saw what happened, and so I offered him a ride one more time. Can you believe that he still turned me down?

At another point in my life, I was helping one of the dads at my church coach his daughter’s U8 soccer team. As practice finished one day, we were kicking goals while waiting on parents to pick up their kids. The girls asked if I could kick it from midfield. Being a U8 field must have made me forget that I’m really not that good, because I tried. As soon as I committed to kick the ball and had my leg in the forward motion, one girl saw her dad and took off across the field to get to him. I knew it was going to happen before it did. SMACK! The ball hit her square in the gut and knocked her over. Fortunately, she just got the wind knocked out of her, but I was devastated, and felt horrible for the rest of the season!

Recently, we finally bought a house, and the both of the bathrooms needed updated light fixtures. I managed to replace the one in our boys’ bathroom in just a manner of about ten minutes, with NO problems. Unfortunately, when I got to the Master bathroom, it didn’t work out so well. After a good 6 or 7 hours of wiring, flipping switches, re-wiring, throwing shoes and other reachable items, and re-wiring yet again, I got desperate and called some friends. Luckily one of our good church friends brought over a voltage meter. Turns out, the wiring for the bathroom was backwards, and I wouldn’t have known about it without the meter. It’s always the simple things…

After these events, and many others like them, it should have come as no surprise when we had a leak in our sink this past week. We discovered it on Thanksgiving day, and I promised not to even attempt until Saturday when the family was gone. Without going into too many details, let’s just say that I visited Home Depot twice, and Taylor Do-It Center once. I fixed the leak in the original spot, but created a new one. On my second trip to Home Depot, the third trip of the day, I was pulling in and saw a car in a close spot pulling out. I stopped to let that car out, and they, in turn, waited for the people walking to get by before backing up. I waited just about a minute and a half, and as I finally had a clear shot, I pulled forward in time to see that a white convertible Mustang with Royal blue racing stripes had pulled through the other head-to-head spot, and pulled into the spot for which I had been waiting.

I pulled forward enough to see who was there, and two college-aged girls were in the front seats. I saw the driver look at me, and I kind of made some motions with my hands while mouthing the words, “Come on! I was waiting for that one!” She looked back at me and shrugged her shoulders and gave a goofy grin, which I took to mean, “Too bad sucka! You lose and I Win!” All she had to do was put it in reverse and back up. But, nope, she and her friend got out laughing (at me, I’m sure) and walked into the store. I eventually found another spot, but I was fuming after the day I’d had. By the way, I had one of my sons in the car with me. Which is good, because at this point, I might have lost my cool completely if I’d been alone.

Finally parked, I reached up to grab the interior door handle, and two things happened when I pulled it. The first was that the door opened. How nice and predictable in my day of madness. The second thing to occur was that the door-handle snapped and bent awkwardly backwards, dangling by a small thread of plastic. Just what I wanted! A “Dukes of Hazzard” style Camry where I had to either climb in the window, or roll the thing down, reach outside and pull the handle out there to get the door opened. It was NOT the greatest day of achievement for me.

HOWEVER, in the midst of all the failure and frustration, my wife mentioned something to me. She pointed out that in spite of all the bad luck and irritation I seemed to have heaped on me, I kept it together pretty well. I have been known to allow my frustration to get the best of me from time to time. I have actually thrown things across the room and pounded on walls as if they were the very culprits causing all my trouble. But this time, before I even started, I decided that no matter what, I was NOT going to repeat past tirades. The words from my wife reminded me that I didn’t get to that point. There was one cabinet door that got a one-time smack, but other than that, I did okay, and I felt pretty good about it.

There are not a lot of deeply spiritual lessons here. I’m sure there are Pages of teachable moments that my moments of “trying to help” create, but on this occasion, I simply say this: Sometimes, when you think about your tendency to blow it, and you decide ahead of time that this time you will keep it together, you set your attitude at a higher point than before, and it can stay there. Our emotions do not control us—we choose to give in. Maybe next time I’m facing a potentially frustrating situation, I’ll remember this and somehow add some length to my otherwise short fuse.

Lessons in Thankfulness

You know, being thankful isn’t always easy. Not because there’s nothing for which to be grateful, but because many times I catch myself being a bit too selfish, and spending time focusing on the things that I want and don’t have. As a result, I fail to see the blessings in the fact that I have everything that I need, and much, much more.

My sons are a blessing to me because they teach me so much. In the last few days, they’ve taught me two good lessons. One directly and one around and about just a bit, but still very valuable.

As we were driving home from their pre-school last week, we came up to an intersection where a young man was standing with a cardboard sign informing the passers-by that he was stranded and hungry while trying to travel. My first inclination was to ignore the guy, while feeling that pang of guilt and uncertainty over what to do. Should I give to him, or is he lying and just going to waste it. Conventional wisdom tells me that so many scam artists get suckers like me to fall for them. Spiritual wisdom reminds me that I can’t always accurately judge the honesty of a situation based on appearances. In other words, I still didn’t know what to do!

It only took a few seconds for the boys to see the guy and to ask what He was doing. I told them that the sign he had said he needed some help to get some food and to get where he was going. One of them asked, “Do we have food for him?” Honestly, there are times we have a few snacks in the car, but this was not one of them. I said that we didn’t have any food, and they said, “Do we have any help for him?” I wasn’t really sure how to answer that. I had a few dollars, but was still stuck between my soft heart and judgmental mind. The light turned green and we ended up moving forward beyond the guy and his sign. Fortunately, the story doesn’t end here.

As soon as we passed, the boys said, “Why didn’t we help him?” It only took a micro-second before I said, “You know what, we ARE going to help.” I made a U-turn at the first available place, pulled out my wallet and grabbed the few singles I had. We ended up being first at the red light on the opposite side of the intersection, and as the light changed we slowly crossed and pulled up next to the guy. I handed him the money and simply said, “Excuse me, it’s not much, but I hope it helps.”

The simple questions of the boys reminded me that at that point, it was not my place to worry about whether or not the guy was legitimate. In fact, the point to the whole thing was not that I helped the guy, but that I took a chance to teach my children that when we are able, giving help to someone is not a bad thing to do. We have so much, and we need to be happy about what we have. Some people don’t have a lot, and when we can, we should help. Even if the guy scammed us, my boys learned the value of sharing that day. I learned the value of making the most of “teachable moments” about giving.

The other indirect lesson came from their recent birthday. (Twins, remember?) There were so many cards and gifts that came to the house that my wife and I were not even sure there was anything we needed to get them. Not only that, but with Christmas so close, we were getting calls from family members telling us all of the gifts that were already purchased in advance, and it made me begin to wonder how long it will be before they are totally spoiled rotten with a “gimme, gimme” mentality.

The truth is, I love to get my boys gifts. I am a sucker for a sweet face and a polite, “Please?” But, I also see how many people in the world have so little. How often do I push my own children towards a materialistic world view with all the gifts and “stuff” I get for them? They know I love them—they don’t need gifts to convince them.

This experience taught me that restraint in gift-giving may need to be exercised. My wife and I have talked about it, and are thinking about ways to scale back and open the boys’ eyes to the value of appreciating and being thankful for what they have. I know they’re only five, so believe me, we’ll change the wording a bit, but if we approach this on a simplified and applicable level for them, they can begin to learn and develop a self-less foundation that will help them (and hopefully others) in the long run.

Both of these lessons deal with giving and recognizing the needs of others. Maybe I’m just dealing with a bit of “seasonal guilt,” but I would rather think that God is just getting my attention on this matter. I am praying about how to put this into practice in my own life, and trying to let go of the countless and needless “wants” with which I wrestle.

It’s important to understand that God does not deal with everyone the exact same way. But, His TRUTH is the same. Scripture clearly says that we cannot serve both God and possessions. (Matthew 6:24) There’s nothing wrong with having money and nice things. But, if we are doing all we can to accumulate them, and ignoring the opportunity to share with others or missing chances to set the example in giving, then maybe we should examine where our priorities lie. I know that I need to re-shuffle mine a bit, and I am working on it. If you are one who is generous, keep it up, and look for new ways to inspire others to join you. If you need to open your heart and wallet a bit, pray and ask God to show how you can best use your resources to serve Him. You won’t regret it, and you just might be a blessing to someone else!

Strep Struggles

I spent several days last week on my back due to a horrible threat to mankind known as “Strep Throat.” I’m convinced that this little illness is actually a dark demon in disguise, doing what he can to strip his victims of morale, quality of life, and body heat—which is strange, since I actually had a fever. Fortunately, a great and mighty Angel named “Amoxicillin” swept in and put up a valiant fight against the dark enemy, and defeated him in a matter of a few days.

Okay, so I’m a bit over-the-top. I know it, I’m okay with it, so let’s move on. Actually, I usually tend to be a bit of a weenie when it comes to being sick, so this time, I really tried to just deal with it positively, and not let it get the best of me. I thanked my wife for taking care of me, I still did what I could as the Tylenol and Advil helped out, which included putting sheets on the boys’ beds, giving them baths two of those days, and even washing a few dishes. (Apparently, helping to prepare dinner is not advised when you have a contagious illness. Go figure.)

I actually found myself saying to myself in my inner-monologue, which can be rather entertaining when you get sick, that “even though you feel so bad now, this WILL be over in just a few days.” Usually I lean towards the “WHY, GOD, WHY?! Why did You let me get so deathly ill? What have I done to YOU to deserve this?” type of mentality. I already admitted that I’m a lousy patient, so get off my case.

The truth is, once I determined to simply get over myself, take the needed rest, and keep a temporary mindset about being sick, I can’t say I enjoyed it, but it certainly helped it to not be so bad. I just chilled out (fever joke), drank lots of water, and kept myself occupied with reading, snoozing, and watching a bit of TV.

Being sick is a lousy comparison to some of the other difficult things that can hit us in day-to-day living, but I do think that there is something to be said for determining your mindset before anything ever happens. I’m not one who believes that you need to be happy with everything happening to you or it means that your faith is weak. I leave that for the TV guys who tell you that then charge you $49.95 for a hanky they sneezed in and offered it to you (for a price) because it comes with a blessing.

I do believe that if we could somehow remind ourselves that no matter what comes our way, we don’t have to go through it alone, we have a better chance of pushing through with our faith intact, and our sanity remaining stable. God tells us on more than one occasion in scripture that He “…Will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deut. 31:6, 8, Joshua 1:5.) Jesus said that He is with us “Always,” even to the “…end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20) With the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe promising to be with us, we have the resources available to keep hope in the hardest of times, and perseverance when it seems that the end is not in sight.

Sometimes I worry that I get too trite, or send the wrong message. I wish I could say that everyone who experiences any illness or hard time will definitely get over it and move on into happy times. I know that’s not always the case. But, I have met many people who kept their hope and trust in God even in the face of the most difficult and lasting of circumstances, and I can attest that those people were still able to experience blessings and life in SPITE of their current situation. That’s hope that can only come from God, and it can be found when we determine that we WILL find it, no matter what the world or life tells us, because we have a personal relationship with The One who is the Source of all Hope.

Electing To Rant

I am completely bored…no…fed up with election season. It doesn’t take much. I can’t flip a channel or open the mailbox without having to see some sort of election propaganda! What’s worse is that you can’t change your channel or throw away the paper without getting the mud on your hands. It seems that all the candidates do nowadays is just tell you how horrible their opponents are.

I’m not sure I can determine what any of these candidates really stand for or support. I’m sure with a lot of digging, small cases could be made for some of them, but what really comes across is this message: “You should vote for me, not for who I am, but because of who I am NOT, and I am not this horrible person that will ruin your life!”

I wonder how anyone can even trust politicians, and yet when you watch the news, which also constantly deals with the elections, you see hundreds and sometimes thousands of people getting fired up and cheering for these guys (and gals) more than they would cheer for their favorite team at a football game. There are people who not only trust politicians, but put their whole trust and faith in them to bring about the “better life” they are sure exists out there somewhere.

Our Pastor told us in staff meeting recently that if people are dissatisfied enough with what’s going on, then they will be motivated to make a change. This makes me wonder what I should or could be doing to change a system that just regularly ticks me off. I have no desire to enter the public arena, so running for office myself is not in the question. I’m sure these guys get letters all the time asking them to change their tactics, so I can’t believe that a letter would have much of an impact. Off the top of my head, I’m left with the option of just turning off the TV and throwing away the flyers.
My wife asked me how I would run a campaign of integrity in this day where attacks seem to be the way to go. I truly don’t even know. It’s an area I admittedly don’t explore very often because it makes me cringe. But, in order to try and offer a positive instead of always griping about it, I guess there are a few key suggestions that I would make to anyone considering public office one day:

1. Live each day like you are constantly in the public eye. If you are always on your guard and doing the things that keep you above reproach that no one can use against you, then it will be hard for anyone to attack you.

2. Take responsibility for your actions. Part of the problem is that too many people are passing the buck and making excuses. We are all human, and even in an attempt to get it right, we might stumble. I tend to believe people will forgive an honest mistake for which you’ve taken responsibility sooner than they would be fooled into buying into an excuse.

3. Rise above the negative comments. If people toss out unfair and untrue attacks against you, avoid the temptation to do the same, and either politely decline to comment on these items, or equally as politely remind others of the truth—and if necessary with proof or evidence, while still refusing to insult or poke at those who originated the attacks.

4. Welcome honest constructive criticism from those you trust. If you have people who share your values that serve as your “sounding board” and advisors, then be ready to seriously entertain their suggestions, even if you don’t agree right away.

5. Remember whose you are, and whom you represent. If you are truly to be a civil servant “Of the people,” then you should take into consideration ALL of their circumstances and truly attempt to meet as many real needs as possible. Sometimes doing the BEST you know to do isn’t the same as doing the popular thing to do, but if you truly serve the people, you’ll look out for their best interests as long as they let you, no matter the outcome.

Oddly, as I look at these things, I see strong similarities to what I would consider a life that Christians should strive to live. If you adjust the first point to read “live each day remembering that you are in God’s and the public eye,” it challenges us to remember that we never know who sees us “letting our light shine before men,” or “hiding it under a basket.” We must live every moment pointing towards God.

The other adjustment would simply be to clarify statement #5. I know that I am God’s child, and as a follower, I represent Jesus Christ with every moment of the day, no matter where I am and whose company I keep. As The One who gives me salvation, He is the only one that matters, and if I make living as close to His standard as possible, then I will be less likely to step into any huge scandals, or do things that bring embarrassment and shame.

Not everyone will agree with me on this, and I’m okay with that. (See #3 above.) I just don’t feel right complaining or venting my feelings about the scarcity of positive campaign ads on TV unless I’m willing to offer my ideas on how to make adjustments. These are my humble opinions, and as per #2, I am willing to take responsibility. In other words, “My name is Cody, and I sponsored this blog.”

Lights Out!

As we were leaving church in two cars a couple of weeks ago, my wife called me from her vehicle to let me know that my driver-side headlight was out. I hadn't noticed it, so there's no telling how long it had been out, but sure enough, as I pulled up behind her vehicle at the next red light, I could see in the reflection that only one light was working. I told her I'd look into it.

The next day, I got into the car, and after starting it, got out and walked around to the front to see if it was completely out, partially out, or what. (By the way--I'm not exactly a car expert, so I didn't really know what I needed to see, or why I needed to see it again from the front anyway.) To my surprise, both lights were working. I watched all day, and there didn't seem to be any trouble.

Unfortunately, a few nights later, we noticed that the same light was out again. Maybe it's a loose wire or something, and possibly a blown bulb. I guess we'll have to figure that out. Truth be told, I've never changed a headlight bulb. I've changed a tail light, and my sincere hope is that it is at least relatively close in procedure, as I managed to do that one in under 10 minutes.

With my luck, I'll get the bulb, pop the hood to the car, attempt to make a simple change, and somehow do something that causes the car muffler to fall off the back of the car. It seems a bit dramatic, but that's how these things go for me. Truthfully, I'll do some research and find some pretty good directions before I attempt anything. I'm not like the average dude that is convinced I can fix it the first time without any help. I know my limitations, and figure it's cheaper in the long run to swallow my pride, and just look at the directions, take it slow, and then HOPEFULLY get it right.

Life isn't like those headlights--it doesn't come with an instruction manual to tell us how to do everything. In fact, many times we can feel like we are expected to go it alone without any instructions, and to get it right the first time. As a believer in Christ, I know that's not the case. When I first began my relationship with Him, the Holy Spirit came to live in my heart. Jesus promised He would always be with us, and through the Spirit, He is.

The other thing is that even though day-to-day living has its difficulties and trials, I do have a manual that can help me. God's Word is there to give me encouragement and guidance. Okay, let me pause right here: I am well aware that this has just taken a seemingly very cliche approach to the Bible being the "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth." But stay with me a second, and maybe I can still make a positive application for you.

The truth is, the Bible is the Living Word of God, given for instruction, teaching, and correction. (2 Timothy 3:16) But, as far as specifics go, it won't spell out the answer for how a dad should handle a son's refusal to quit overreacting to the slightest attempt to settle him down. There is no book in the Bible dedicated to helping a husband specifically handle the feelings of inadequacy that comes from not being able to relieve his pregnant wife's back pain. I haven't found the passage of scripture that tells me exactly what time of month is best to pay certain bills so that the paychecks last longer through the month.

BUT, I do know that there are passages that deal with disciplining children and allowing the Spirit to help us maintain patience. I also know that Scripture encourages husbands to love their wives enough to be willing to sacrifice in order to meet their needs. Beyond that, I also know that there are plenty of passages that deal with trusting God to meet our needs and making wise decisions.

So, while there may not be specific answers to some of the issues we face, with the Bible we do have a great resource available that points us in the right direction. At that point, the Holy Spirit within us can step in and guide us to make the best choice based on our current circumstances. There's still some room for human error here, and just because we are led towards a certain path doesn't mean we'll take it. But it's good to know that we aren't left hanging out to dry, just waiting for the next problem to take us further into dispair.

Like my wife, I'm anxious to see if I can fix this headlight problem on my own, or if I'll need to call in someone with more experience to bail me out. But, at least I've got Google--I can find those instructions somewhere, and eventually, and hopefully painlessly, there will be two working headlights once again.

New New Orleans Saints?

I’m not what you would call a “huge” football fan. In fact, I’m not even a big fan. Truthfully, I enjoy watching a good game, and I’ve been known to get pulled into one emotionally with shouting and clapping here and there, but I usually prefer to watch a movie or do something out with my family instead of watching football. Even though I didn’t see it with my own eyes, something about NFL football recently caught my attention, and made it into my conscience enough to end up here.

Yesterday, The New Orleans Saints defeated the New York Giants in the Superdome. Just to shed a little light on the history—the Saints have NEVER played in a Superbowl. The Giants have won 3 of them, and played in 4 (if my math is correct). I know that history doesn’t necessarily have to dictate the present or the future, but it sure does shape the expectations of the spectators.

I grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, about an hour and a half from New Orleans. I remember enough about our State to know that most people pulled for the LSU Tigers in College Football, and tolerated the New Orleans Saints for NFL. In fact, there were many references to the “New Orleans Ain’ts” as a slam against the team for repeatedly doing so poorly. One grocery store chain did a short promotional gimmick where they printed marks to cut out eye-holes in their paper bags so that people who wanted to go watch the Saints play wouldn’t have to be embarrassed about being seen at the game. (People were actually put on national TV wearing such bags!)

The truth is, the history of the team does make it hard for those that have followed them to expect great things from them. However, with a 5-0 winning record so far, surely there are fans who are getting excited that this could be the year!

There is a parallel that runs in the way we view others, and even ourselves. We tend to let history continue to shape our expectations. Many times, the things people used to do, or have done in the past cause us to expect less or distrust them in the present. It’s not always unwarranted, and certainly should be a reason for caution, but I can’t believe that we should etch in marble and granite one’s character and personality based on past mistakes.

The writer of Hebrews tells us to “…throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1) This seems to imply that we can be freed from the mistakes of the past, and do not have to be shackled to the reputations and expectations that come with those sins. Paul says that “…if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation. The old has gone, and the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

If we can get rid of the old, can’t others? And if so, shouldn’t our old expectations also be discarded and a new slate of opportunity laid before those that are allowing the Holy Spirit to heal, re-shape, and change them? It seems to me that we need to be willing to do that for others. I know I’d want the same chance to prove myself as a new creation.

Who knows what the Saints will do for this year. In the grand scheme of things, it’s still just a game that men get paid ridiculous amounts of money to play. But, for those that enjoy watching, it’s a great chance to give an old team a new opportunity to succeed. It will be interesting to see what happens when these Saints go marching in to play!

A Little Steamed

You ever have one of those moments when things aren’t going exactly the way you wanted, and you get a bit frustrated? Have you ever continued the downward spiral where at that point everything continues to make you more and more mad, and you continue to act worse and worse until you find yourself snapping at those around you and escalating the situation to embarrassing proportions? No? Yeah, me neither.

Well, except for this weekend. Saturday rolled around, and like fools, we made plans. Don’t you know that when you have children, and you make plans—they tend to get messed up and fall through? Maybe not every time, but you can pretty well bank on the fact that your specific plans will not happen they way they are crafted and diligently rehearsed and laid out in that perfect little existence of your mind.

We were going to attend the Virginia Children’s Festival in Norfolk. However, while they were not being terribly obnoxious about it, they boys decided they didn’t want to help us out by following our schedule. That got me just a bit frustrated. Then came another little discovery that slowed us way down, but I won’t bore you with those details. Let’s just say I needed to run a quick errand, just as the rain started to fall. In torrents.

The key to this whole story is that every so steadily, my temper and frustration level were boiling up, and I was the proverbial pressure cooker waiting to explode. Finally, I think it was something the boys said or did. The fact that I can’t really remember shows how unimportant it was in the grand scheme of things. But, much to my chagrin, I finally hit my limit.

All in all, I handled it better than I could have. There were no spankings in anger, there was no throwing of items across the room. But there was a bit of volume increase on my voice, and there was the slight issue of banishment from the kitchen forever. (I never said I was completely rational in my reaction.) Long story short, the boys got sent to their rooms in tears, and I managed to act more like the child throwing a tantrum than they did.

The really sad part of all of this was that just as things started heating up, I heard a very clear voice in my mind or my heart telling me, “Take a break, you’re about to get too frustrated.” In fact, I kept hearing similar warnings the whole time. When the explosion came and went, the same voice said, “you don’t really feel any better, do you?” Nope.

In fact, I was feeling pretty low. I was only mad at myself. We had spent a good bit of time at church the previous week discussing the Holy Spirit, and how many of us ignore it, or get it confused. The truth is, in this situation, I was too determined to get my way, and when my way wasn’t happening, I was still stubborn enough to try and get control. Funny how neither of those things happened...

If I had only listened the first time, I think I might have been able to keep my cool. I’m sure of it, because the Spirit works to bring Honor to God, and my yelling needlessly at the children didn’t do that.

Many times, if we just follow the direction of the Holy Spirit, and stick to the truth of the Scriptures, especially that one about Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, and Self-control (which, incidentally, come from following the Spirit’s guidance), we will diffuse the situation before it gets to the aforementioned level.

I smoothed things over with the boys, and I apologized to my wife for acting like a total Neanderthal. (Cue the Geico cavemen.) The day was salvaged, and we ended up having a pretty good day. But, I will never be able to completely take back what I did. Listening to the Spirit isn’t always easy, but it is always the right thing to do.