Lights Out!

As we were leaving church in two cars a couple of weeks ago, my wife called me from her vehicle to let me know that my driver-side headlight was out. I hadn't noticed it, so there's no telling how long it had been out, but sure enough, as I pulled up behind her vehicle at the next red light, I could see in the reflection that only one light was working. I told her I'd look into it.

The next day, I got into the car, and after starting it, got out and walked around to the front to see if it was completely out, partially out, or what. (By the way--I'm not exactly a car expert, so I didn't really know what I needed to see, or why I needed to see it again from the front anyway.) To my surprise, both lights were working. I watched all day, and there didn't seem to be any trouble.

Unfortunately, a few nights later, we noticed that the same light was out again. Maybe it's a loose wire or something, and possibly a blown bulb. I guess we'll have to figure that out. Truth be told, I've never changed a headlight bulb. I've changed a tail light, and my sincere hope is that it is at least relatively close in procedure, as I managed to do that one in under 10 minutes.

With my luck, I'll get the bulb, pop the hood to the car, attempt to make a simple change, and somehow do something that causes the car muffler to fall off the back of the car. It seems a bit dramatic, but that's how these things go for me. Truthfully, I'll do some research and find some pretty good directions before I attempt anything. I'm not like the average dude that is convinced I can fix it the first time without any help. I know my limitations, and figure it's cheaper in the long run to swallow my pride, and just look at the directions, take it slow, and then HOPEFULLY get it right.

Life isn't like those headlights--it doesn't come with an instruction manual to tell us how to do everything. In fact, many times we can feel like we are expected to go it alone without any instructions, and to get it right the first time. As a believer in Christ, I know that's not the case. When I first began my relationship with Him, the Holy Spirit came to live in my heart. Jesus promised He would always be with us, and through the Spirit, He is.

The other thing is that even though day-to-day living has its difficulties and trials, I do have a manual that can help me. God's Word is there to give me encouragement and guidance. Okay, let me pause right here: I am well aware that this has just taken a seemingly very cliche approach to the Bible being the "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth." But stay with me a second, and maybe I can still make a positive application for you.

The truth is, the Bible is the Living Word of God, given for instruction, teaching, and correction. (2 Timothy 3:16) But, as far as specifics go, it won't spell out the answer for how a dad should handle a son's refusal to quit overreacting to the slightest attempt to settle him down. There is no book in the Bible dedicated to helping a husband specifically handle the feelings of inadequacy that comes from not being able to relieve his pregnant wife's back pain. I haven't found the passage of scripture that tells me exactly what time of month is best to pay certain bills so that the paychecks last longer through the month.

BUT, I do know that there are passages that deal with disciplining children and allowing the Spirit to help us maintain patience. I also know that Scripture encourages husbands to love their wives enough to be willing to sacrifice in order to meet their needs. Beyond that, I also know that there are plenty of passages that deal with trusting God to meet our needs and making wise decisions.

So, while there may not be specific answers to some of the issues we face, with the Bible we do have a great resource available that points us in the right direction. At that point, the Holy Spirit within us can step in and guide us to make the best choice based on our current circumstances. There's still some room for human error here, and just because we are led towards a certain path doesn't mean we'll take it. But it's good to know that we aren't left hanging out to dry, just waiting for the next problem to take us further into dispair.

Like my wife, I'm anxious to see if I can fix this headlight problem on my own, or if I'll need to call in someone with more experience to bail me out. But, at least I've got Google--I can find those instructions somewhere, and eventually, and hopefully painlessly, there will be two working headlights once again.

New New Orleans Saints?

I’m not what you would call a “huge” football fan. In fact, I’m not even a big fan. Truthfully, I enjoy watching a good game, and I’ve been known to get pulled into one emotionally with shouting and clapping here and there, but I usually prefer to watch a movie or do something out with my family instead of watching football. Even though I didn’t see it with my own eyes, something about NFL football recently caught my attention, and made it into my conscience enough to end up here.

Yesterday, The New Orleans Saints defeated the New York Giants in the Superdome. Just to shed a little light on the history—the Saints have NEVER played in a Superbowl. The Giants have won 3 of them, and played in 4 (if my math is correct). I know that history doesn’t necessarily have to dictate the present or the future, but it sure does shape the expectations of the spectators.

I grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, about an hour and a half from New Orleans. I remember enough about our State to know that most people pulled for the LSU Tigers in College Football, and tolerated the New Orleans Saints for NFL. In fact, there were many references to the “New Orleans Ain’ts” as a slam against the team for repeatedly doing so poorly. One grocery store chain did a short promotional gimmick where they printed marks to cut out eye-holes in their paper bags so that people who wanted to go watch the Saints play wouldn’t have to be embarrassed about being seen at the game. (People were actually put on national TV wearing such bags!)

The truth is, the history of the team does make it hard for those that have followed them to expect great things from them. However, with a 5-0 winning record so far, surely there are fans who are getting excited that this could be the year!

There is a parallel that runs in the way we view others, and even ourselves. We tend to let history continue to shape our expectations. Many times, the things people used to do, or have done in the past cause us to expect less or distrust them in the present. It’s not always unwarranted, and certainly should be a reason for caution, but I can’t believe that we should etch in marble and granite one’s character and personality based on past mistakes.

The writer of Hebrews tells us to “…throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1) This seems to imply that we can be freed from the mistakes of the past, and do not have to be shackled to the reputations and expectations that come with those sins. Paul says that “…if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation. The old has gone, and the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

If we can get rid of the old, can’t others? And if so, shouldn’t our old expectations also be discarded and a new slate of opportunity laid before those that are allowing the Holy Spirit to heal, re-shape, and change them? It seems to me that we need to be willing to do that for others. I know I’d want the same chance to prove myself as a new creation.

Who knows what the Saints will do for this year. In the grand scheme of things, it’s still just a game that men get paid ridiculous amounts of money to play. But, for those that enjoy watching, it’s a great chance to give an old team a new opportunity to succeed. It will be interesting to see what happens when these Saints go marching in to play!

A Little Steamed

You ever have one of those moments when things aren’t going exactly the way you wanted, and you get a bit frustrated? Have you ever continued the downward spiral where at that point everything continues to make you more and more mad, and you continue to act worse and worse until you find yourself snapping at those around you and escalating the situation to embarrassing proportions? No? Yeah, me neither.

Well, except for this weekend. Saturday rolled around, and like fools, we made plans. Don’t you know that when you have children, and you make plans—they tend to get messed up and fall through? Maybe not every time, but you can pretty well bank on the fact that your specific plans will not happen they way they are crafted and diligently rehearsed and laid out in that perfect little existence of your mind.

We were going to attend the Virginia Children’s Festival in Norfolk. However, while they were not being terribly obnoxious about it, they boys decided they didn’t want to help us out by following our schedule. That got me just a bit frustrated. Then came another little discovery that slowed us way down, but I won’t bore you with those details. Let’s just say I needed to run a quick errand, just as the rain started to fall. In torrents.

The key to this whole story is that every so steadily, my temper and frustration level were boiling up, and I was the proverbial pressure cooker waiting to explode. Finally, I think it was something the boys said or did. The fact that I can’t really remember shows how unimportant it was in the grand scheme of things. But, much to my chagrin, I finally hit my limit.

All in all, I handled it better than I could have. There were no spankings in anger, there was no throwing of items across the room. But there was a bit of volume increase on my voice, and there was the slight issue of banishment from the kitchen forever. (I never said I was completely rational in my reaction.) Long story short, the boys got sent to their rooms in tears, and I managed to act more like the child throwing a tantrum than they did.

The really sad part of all of this was that just as things started heating up, I heard a very clear voice in my mind or my heart telling me, “Take a break, you’re about to get too frustrated.” In fact, I kept hearing similar warnings the whole time. When the explosion came and went, the same voice said, “you don’t really feel any better, do you?” Nope.

In fact, I was feeling pretty low. I was only mad at myself. We had spent a good bit of time at church the previous week discussing the Holy Spirit, and how many of us ignore it, or get it confused. The truth is, in this situation, I was too determined to get my way, and when my way wasn’t happening, I was still stubborn enough to try and get control. Funny how neither of those things happened...

If I had only listened the first time, I think I might have been able to keep my cool. I’m sure of it, because the Spirit works to bring Honor to God, and my yelling needlessly at the children didn’t do that.

Many times, if we just follow the direction of the Holy Spirit, and stick to the truth of the Scriptures, especially that one about Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, and Self-control (which, incidentally, come from following the Spirit’s guidance), we will diffuse the situation before it gets to the aforementioned level.

I smoothed things over with the boys, and I apologized to my wife for acting like a total Neanderthal. (Cue the Geico cavemen.) The day was salvaged, and we ended up having a pretty good day. But, I will never be able to completely take back what I did. Listening to the Spirit isn’t always easy, but it is always the right thing to do.