Blessing in Room 473

Part of my job is taking a day to visit church members who might be in the hospital. I know, it sounds so impersonal when I say it like that. But the truth is, I KNOW that’s a part of this job and I have known it, and while it’s not something I consider myself to be really “good at,” I do enjoy the chance to visit with people.

Usually I just hope I don’t put my foot in my mouth accidentally, and pray that I didn’t embarrass myself too much. I can only hope that my visits bring a small measure of meaning to those that I go to see. Almost all the time, God is good, and my visits end up being a blessing for me—probably far more than the patients!

Today I had the privilege of seeing a couple. The husband was in the hospital, and his wife was there with him, doing her part to take care of him. At first, a nurse was in the room getting this gentleman set up with some kind of breathing treatment. As a result, he couldn’t actually talk for the first ten minutes I was there, but I promised him I’d wait until he was done so I could talk with him, too.

By the end of the visit, I knew several things about this couple that impressed and inspired me. For starters, they have been married for sixty-six years. In today’s world, that’s saying much, and sets a great example for younger married couples.

I learned that this particular gentleman served his country and was active in World War II. I have always admired and appreciated those who serve in the armed forces. I support all of our active troops as well as veterans through the years. These men and women take on the mantle of service, and many times are put into situations and areas where they would not choose to visit in any stage in life, but because of their pledge, they go where the orders lead. Regardless of our political views and whether or not we agree with the decisions made, we should always offer our support and thanks for the men and women who put themselves in harm’s way to protect our American way of life.

Two times in his 70’s, this man bicycled his way across the County. Once from California to Florida, and the other time from California to New England. Both trips were completed in under 50 days. I wonder if I can even bicycle for 50 minutes without collapsing!

During the conversation, this couple mentioned all the time they spend with their great-grandchildren. I believe they are truly blessed to have such close relationships with their family, and are physically healthy enough to stay involved. (Don’t let the hospital visit fool you, it was a temporary set-back, but this couple still stays active!)

In general, this visit served to remind me that life is a gift from God. No area of it should be taken for granted, and we should certainly not squander our days whining about what we don’t have. Instead, we should look for blessings everywhere, and take our definition of “blessing” out of the box, and allow ourselves to receive whatever form or fashion of blessing God sends our way.

Today, I was blessed with the opportunity to visit a wonderful couple in the hospital. Can’t say I woke up expecting to find a blessing there—but will go to bed tonight remembering it, and thanking God for it!

Taste the Difference

This morning, I got into an interesting discussion with one of my 5-year-olds. I was in the process of fixing my lunch to take to work with me. The only time I can squeeze this in is while my boys are eating their breakfast. Today, they were sitting on stools at the counter where I was putting together my lunch.

As it turns out, today is leftover day. BUT, unlike some other times, I was really looking forward to this one. My wife fixed a pork roast the other day, and because she is a brilliant cook, it always tastes wonderful. She slow-cooks it all day in the Crock-pot, and by the time we get home, it literally falls apart and melts in your mouth. She doesn’t use too much seasoning, because the method of preparation retains much of the natural flavor of the pork, and keeps it nice and tender. Is your mouth watering? It should be.

So, today, I’m scooping the rest of the pork from one large container into a smaller container that will fit in my lunch bag. Then, because I am a NUT for spicy food, and because I feel less guilty about it with leftovers than with first-run meals, I poured some buffalo wing sauce into another container to pour over the pork after I’d reheated it in the microwave at work. Yeah—I know! AWESOME!

While I’m pouring the sauce, my son looks at me and says, “What is that, daddy?” So I told him, “Buffalo Sauce. It’s really spicy!” I figured he and his brother would then go off on a tangent about the spicy part of the statement. Instead, they laughed and said, “Buffalo!” Over and over. (They are five, they are boys—it’s what they do.) Finally, one of them said, “Is it made from Buffalo?” I explained that it was called that because the sauce was first made in a city called Buffalo, New York. (It’s True. LOOK IT UP!)

After my dissertation on the origins of Buffalo sauce, and my comments to the grand and wonderful culinary delight one experiences upon eating Buffalo sauce, the first one said, “I’ll just call it Barbeque sauce.” Now, as one who has an appreciation for both of the sauces, I realized that this was a total faux-pas, and must be corrected. RIGHT! Try telling a 5-year-old anything. Needless to say, we just had to agree to disagree on that point, but there will come a day, when they are ready, that I will introduce the boys to the joy and bliss that is Buffalo sauce.

Anyway, this got me thinking. How many times do we try to explain a positive idea or experience we’ve had to someone who has never been through the same thing? Isn’t it interesting that we get frustrated when they don’t seem to “get it?” Or worse—when they just flat out disagree, even when they’ve never had the same experience.

I have heard stories of people who try to share their faith with others, only to have them misunderstand what they are talking about, or not even be willing to listen, because they just know it’s “not for them.” When we talk about our experiences as followers of Christ, we are taken to a place where our emotions and memories are stirred, and telling the story is much like reliving an event. It can be an uplifting experience. But, we can’t expect others who have never shared in this same thing to just come on board and immediately be as gung-ho and excited as we are.

I have found with my boys that when it comes to food, it doesn’t really work to say repeatedly with greater and greater force, “Oh come on, you’ll like it!” It also doesn’t work to tell them how excited my mouth gets with some of my favorite foods. Instead, I simply put a small amount on my fork, let them see it, give them a chance to smell it, and then make this offer, “I really think you would enjoy tasting this. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to try anymore.” It sounds a bit silly and elementary, but it works much of the time.

I wonder if there’s a similar approach to sharing our faith with others? I think if we become the “small taste” of what it means to be a Christian by the way we love and treat others, we stand a greater chance of successfully inviting them to try one worship service, or to attend a Bible Study with us for that first time. If they see the joy we have and experience the love we can share, then it becomes a real, even if tiny, experience of what we hope they will come to know for themselves.

The other thing I feel like we do poorly is to give people permission to reject our invitations. I know that popular teaching is that “Today may be the last day of your life!” I understand that, and I do know the urgency. BUT, unfortunately, with some people, that just comes across as nagging and judgmental. We don’t need to lay a guilt trip on them if they don’t have a positive experience at our church. We need to reaffirm our commitment to the friendship, and continue to allow them the tiny experiences through us. We can tell them stories about what we did, express our reactions to powerful worship services, and even introduce them to other believers who can offer the same warmth and welcoming attitude. (But, you don’t want to intimidate them, so go easy on that last part!)

The truth is, some people will never agree to agree with us on anything from spiritual beliefs to buffalo sauce and ice-cream being equal parts of nectar from heaven. All we can do is provide the opportunities for them experience what we have. Sometimes it takes patience and waiting for the appropriate time. My sons are NOT ready for wing night at the house, but in a few years, and much to the dismay of my wife, that may be one of our weekly bonding times. For now, I’ll just have to let them call it Barbeque, since they have never experienced the difference, anyway!

Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes, I wonder why I even try to, well, try. When I was working at a church in Knoxville, TN, our church was located one block from a Texaco Gas station with a mini-mart. One afternoon, our deacon chairman happened to be doing some work at the church and told us he was walking to the Texaco to get a snack. Just a few minutes after he left, it started raining. Feeling bad, I hopped in my car and drove to the station to pick him up so he wouldn’t get caught in the rain. I got there as he was checking out, and he declined the offer, having thought to bring an umbrella. So, I got in the car to leave. As I was backing up (Since someone else had illegally parked in front of me), I didn’t notice the concrete post that was about two feet tall just behind the right side of my car. I turned the wheel in order to get out, and cracked my bumper on the post. The chairman came out and saw what happened, and so I offered him a ride one more time. Can you believe that he still turned me down?

At another point in my life, I was helping one of the dads at my church coach his daughter’s U8 soccer team. As practice finished one day, we were kicking goals while waiting on parents to pick up their kids. The girls asked if I could kick it from midfield. Being a U8 field must have made me forget that I’m really not that good, because I tried. As soon as I committed to kick the ball and had my leg in the forward motion, one girl saw her dad and took off across the field to get to him. I knew it was going to happen before it did. SMACK! The ball hit her square in the gut and knocked her over. Fortunately, she just got the wind knocked out of her, but I was devastated, and felt horrible for the rest of the season!

Recently, we finally bought a house, and the both of the bathrooms needed updated light fixtures. I managed to replace the one in our boys’ bathroom in just a manner of about ten minutes, with NO problems. Unfortunately, when I got to the Master bathroom, it didn’t work out so well. After a good 6 or 7 hours of wiring, flipping switches, re-wiring, throwing shoes and other reachable items, and re-wiring yet again, I got desperate and called some friends. Luckily one of our good church friends brought over a voltage meter. Turns out, the wiring for the bathroom was backwards, and I wouldn’t have known about it without the meter. It’s always the simple things…

After these events, and many others like them, it should have come as no surprise when we had a leak in our sink this past week. We discovered it on Thanksgiving day, and I promised not to even attempt until Saturday when the family was gone. Without going into too many details, let’s just say that I visited Home Depot twice, and Taylor Do-It Center once. I fixed the leak in the original spot, but created a new one. On my second trip to Home Depot, the third trip of the day, I was pulling in and saw a car in a close spot pulling out. I stopped to let that car out, and they, in turn, waited for the people walking to get by before backing up. I waited just about a minute and a half, and as I finally had a clear shot, I pulled forward in time to see that a white convertible Mustang with Royal blue racing stripes had pulled through the other head-to-head spot, and pulled into the spot for which I had been waiting.

I pulled forward enough to see who was there, and two college-aged girls were in the front seats. I saw the driver look at me, and I kind of made some motions with my hands while mouthing the words, “Come on! I was waiting for that one!” She looked back at me and shrugged her shoulders and gave a goofy grin, which I took to mean, “Too bad sucka! You lose and I Win!” All she had to do was put it in reverse and back up. But, nope, she and her friend got out laughing (at me, I’m sure) and walked into the store. I eventually found another spot, but I was fuming after the day I’d had. By the way, I had one of my sons in the car with me. Which is good, because at this point, I might have lost my cool completely if I’d been alone.

Finally parked, I reached up to grab the interior door handle, and two things happened when I pulled it. The first was that the door opened. How nice and predictable in my day of madness. The second thing to occur was that the door-handle snapped and bent awkwardly backwards, dangling by a small thread of plastic. Just what I wanted! A “Dukes of Hazzard” style Camry where I had to either climb in the window, or roll the thing down, reach outside and pull the handle out there to get the door opened. It was NOT the greatest day of achievement for me.

HOWEVER, in the midst of all the failure and frustration, my wife mentioned something to me. She pointed out that in spite of all the bad luck and irritation I seemed to have heaped on me, I kept it together pretty well. I have been known to allow my frustration to get the best of me from time to time. I have actually thrown things across the room and pounded on walls as if they were the very culprits causing all my trouble. But this time, before I even started, I decided that no matter what, I was NOT going to repeat past tirades. The words from my wife reminded me that I didn’t get to that point. There was one cabinet door that got a one-time smack, but other than that, I did okay, and I felt pretty good about it.

There are not a lot of deeply spiritual lessons here. I’m sure there are Pages of teachable moments that my moments of “trying to help” create, but on this occasion, I simply say this: Sometimes, when you think about your tendency to blow it, and you decide ahead of time that this time you will keep it together, you set your attitude at a higher point than before, and it can stay there. Our emotions do not control us—we choose to give in. Maybe next time I’m facing a potentially frustrating situation, I’ll remember this and somehow add some length to my otherwise short fuse.

Lessons in Thankfulness

You know, being thankful isn’t always easy. Not because there’s nothing for which to be grateful, but because many times I catch myself being a bit too selfish, and spending time focusing on the things that I want and don’t have. As a result, I fail to see the blessings in the fact that I have everything that I need, and much, much more.

My sons are a blessing to me because they teach me so much. In the last few days, they’ve taught me two good lessons. One directly and one around and about just a bit, but still very valuable.

As we were driving home from their pre-school last week, we came up to an intersection where a young man was standing with a cardboard sign informing the passers-by that he was stranded and hungry while trying to travel. My first inclination was to ignore the guy, while feeling that pang of guilt and uncertainty over what to do. Should I give to him, or is he lying and just going to waste it. Conventional wisdom tells me that so many scam artists get suckers like me to fall for them. Spiritual wisdom reminds me that I can’t always accurately judge the honesty of a situation based on appearances. In other words, I still didn’t know what to do!

It only took a few seconds for the boys to see the guy and to ask what He was doing. I told them that the sign he had said he needed some help to get some food and to get where he was going. One of them asked, “Do we have food for him?” Honestly, there are times we have a few snacks in the car, but this was not one of them. I said that we didn’t have any food, and they said, “Do we have any help for him?” I wasn’t really sure how to answer that. I had a few dollars, but was still stuck between my soft heart and judgmental mind. The light turned green and we ended up moving forward beyond the guy and his sign. Fortunately, the story doesn’t end here.

As soon as we passed, the boys said, “Why didn’t we help him?” It only took a micro-second before I said, “You know what, we ARE going to help.” I made a U-turn at the first available place, pulled out my wallet and grabbed the few singles I had. We ended up being first at the red light on the opposite side of the intersection, and as the light changed we slowly crossed and pulled up next to the guy. I handed him the money and simply said, “Excuse me, it’s not much, but I hope it helps.”

The simple questions of the boys reminded me that at that point, it was not my place to worry about whether or not the guy was legitimate. In fact, the point to the whole thing was not that I helped the guy, but that I took a chance to teach my children that when we are able, giving help to someone is not a bad thing to do. We have so much, and we need to be happy about what we have. Some people don’t have a lot, and when we can, we should help. Even if the guy scammed us, my boys learned the value of sharing that day. I learned the value of making the most of “teachable moments” about giving.

The other indirect lesson came from their recent birthday. (Twins, remember?) There were so many cards and gifts that came to the house that my wife and I were not even sure there was anything we needed to get them. Not only that, but with Christmas so close, we were getting calls from family members telling us all of the gifts that were already purchased in advance, and it made me begin to wonder how long it will be before they are totally spoiled rotten with a “gimme, gimme” mentality.

The truth is, I love to get my boys gifts. I am a sucker for a sweet face and a polite, “Please?” But, I also see how many people in the world have so little. How often do I push my own children towards a materialistic world view with all the gifts and “stuff” I get for them? They know I love them—they don’t need gifts to convince them.

This experience taught me that restraint in gift-giving may need to be exercised. My wife and I have talked about it, and are thinking about ways to scale back and open the boys’ eyes to the value of appreciating and being thankful for what they have. I know they’re only five, so believe me, we’ll change the wording a bit, but if we approach this on a simplified and applicable level for them, they can begin to learn and develop a self-less foundation that will help them (and hopefully others) in the long run.

Both of these lessons deal with giving and recognizing the needs of others. Maybe I’m just dealing with a bit of “seasonal guilt,” but I would rather think that God is just getting my attention on this matter. I am praying about how to put this into practice in my own life, and trying to let go of the countless and needless “wants” with which I wrestle.

It’s important to understand that God does not deal with everyone the exact same way. But, His TRUTH is the same. Scripture clearly says that we cannot serve both God and possessions. (Matthew 6:24) There’s nothing wrong with having money and nice things. But, if we are doing all we can to accumulate them, and ignoring the opportunity to share with others or missing chances to set the example in giving, then maybe we should examine where our priorities lie. I know that I need to re-shuffle mine a bit, and I am working on it. If you are one who is generous, keep it up, and look for new ways to inspire others to join you. If you need to open your heart and wallet a bit, pray and ask God to show how you can best use your resources to serve Him. You won’t regret it, and you just might be a blessing to someone else!

Strep Struggles

I spent several days last week on my back due to a horrible threat to mankind known as “Strep Throat.” I’m convinced that this little illness is actually a dark demon in disguise, doing what he can to strip his victims of morale, quality of life, and body heat—which is strange, since I actually had a fever. Fortunately, a great and mighty Angel named “Amoxicillin” swept in and put up a valiant fight against the dark enemy, and defeated him in a matter of a few days.

Okay, so I’m a bit over-the-top. I know it, I’m okay with it, so let’s move on. Actually, I usually tend to be a bit of a weenie when it comes to being sick, so this time, I really tried to just deal with it positively, and not let it get the best of me. I thanked my wife for taking care of me, I still did what I could as the Tylenol and Advil helped out, which included putting sheets on the boys’ beds, giving them baths two of those days, and even washing a few dishes. (Apparently, helping to prepare dinner is not advised when you have a contagious illness. Go figure.)

I actually found myself saying to myself in my inner-monologue, which can be rather entertaining when you get sick, that “even though you feel so bad now, this WILL be over in just a few days.” Usually I lean towards the “WHY, GOD, WHY?! Why did You let me get so deathly ill? What have I done to YOU to deserve this?” type of mentality. I already admitted that I’m a lousy patient, so get off my case.

The truth is, once I determined to simply get over myself, take the needed rest, and keep a temporary mindset about being sick, I can’t say I enjoyed it, but it certainly helped it to not be so bad. I just chilled out (fever joke), drank lots of water, and kept myself occupied with reading, snoozing, and watching a bit of TV.

Being sick is a lousy comparison to some of the other difficult things that can hit us in day-to-day living, but I do think that there is something to be said for determining your mindset before anything ever happens. I’m not one who believes that you need to be happy with everything happening to you or it means that your faith is weak. I leave that for the TV guys who tell you that then charge you $49.95 for a hanky they sneezed in and offered it to you (for a price) because it comes with a blessing.

I do believe that if we could somehow remind ourselves that no matter what comes our way, we don’t have to go through it alone, we have a better chance of pushing through with our faith intact, and our sanity remaining stable. God tells us on more than one occasion in scripture that He “…Will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deut. 31:6, 8, Joshua 1:5.) Jesus said that He is with us “Always,” even to the “…end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20) With the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe promising to be with us, we have the resources available to keep hope in the hardest of times, and perseverance when it seems that the end is not in sight.

Sometimes I worry that I get too trite, or send the wrong message. I wish I could say that everyone who experiences any illness or hard time will definitely get over it and move on into happy times. I know that’s not always the case. But, I have met many people who kept their hope and trust in God even in the face of the most difficult and lasting of circumstances, and I can attest that those people were still able to experience blessings and life in SPITE of their current situation. That’s hope that can only come from God, and it can be found when we determine that we WILL find it, no matter what the world or life tells us, because we have a personal relationship with The One who is the Source of all Hope.

Electing To Rant

I am completely bored…no…fed up with election season. It doesn’t take much. I can’t flip a channel or open the mailbox without having to see some sort of election propaganda! What’s worse is that you can’t change your channel or throw away the paper without getting the mud on your hands. It seems that all the candidates do nowadays is just tell you how horrible their opponents are.

I’m not sure I can determine what any of these candidates really stand for or support. I’m sure with a lot of digging, small cases could be made for some of them, but what really comes across is this message: “You should vote for me, not for who I am, but because of who I am NOT, and I am not this horrible person that will ruin your life!”

I wonder how anyone can even trust politicians, and yet when you watch the news, which also constantly deals with the elections, you see hundreds and sometimes thousands of people getting fired up and cheering for these guys (and gals) more than they would cheer for their favorite team at a football game. There are people who not only trust politicians, but put their whole trust and faith in them to bring about the “better life” they are sure exists out there somewhere.

Our Pastor told us in staff meeting recently that if people are dissatisfied enough with what’s going on, then they will be motivated to make a change. This makes me wonder what I should or could be doing to change a system that just regularly ticks me off. I have no desire to enter the public arena, so running for office myself is not in the question. I’m sure these guys get letters all the time asking them to change their tactics, so I can’t believe that a letter would have much of an impact. Off the top of my head, I’m left with the option of just turning off the TV and throwing away the flyers.
My wife asked me how I would run a campaign of integrity in this day where attacks seem to be the way to go. I truly don’t even know. It’s an area I admittedly don’t explore very often because it makes me cringe. But, in order to try and offer a positive instead of always griping about it, I guess there are a few key suggestions that I would make to anyone considering public office one day:

1. Live each day like you are constantly in the public eye. If you are always on your guard and doing the things that keep you above reproach that no one can use against you, then it will be hard for anyone to attack you.

2. Take responsibility for your actions. Part of the problem is that too many people are passing the buck and making excuses. We are all human, and even in an attempt to get it right, we might stumble. I tend to believe people will forgive an honest mistake for which you’ve taken responsibility sooner than they would be fooled into buying into an excuse.

3. Rise above the negative comments. If people toss out unfair and untrue attacks against you, avoid the temptation to do the same, and either politely decline to comment on these items, or equally as politely remind others of the truth—and if necessary with proof or evidence, while still refusing to insult or poke at those who originated the attacks.

4. Welcome honest constructive criticism from those you trust. If you have people who share your values that serve as your “sounding board” and advisors, then be ready to seriously entertain their suggestions, even if you don’t agree right away.

5. Remember whose you are, and whom you represent. If you are truly to be a civil servant “Of the people,” then you should take into consideration ALL of their circumstances and truly attempt to meet as many real needs as possible. Sometimes doing the BEST you know to do isn’t the same as doing the popular thing to do, but if you truly serve the people, you’ll look out for their best interests as long as they let you, no matter the outcome.

Oddly, as I look at these things, I see strong similarities to what I would consider a life that Christians should strive to live. If you adjust the first point to read “live each day remembering that you are in God’s and the public eye,” it challenges us to remember that we never know who sees us “letting our light shine before men,” or “hiding it under a basket.” We must live every moment pointing towards God.

The other adjustment would simply be to clarify statement #5. I know that I am God’s child, and as a follower, I represent Jesus Christ with every moment of the day, no matter where I am and whose company I keep. As The One who gives me salvation, He is the only one that matters, and if I make living as close to His standard as possible, then I will be less likely to step into any huge scandals, or do things that bring embarrassment and shame.

Not everyone will agree with me on this, and I’m okay with that. (See #3 above.) I just don’t feel right complaining or venting my feelings about the scarcity of positive campaign ads on TV unless I’m willing to offer my ideas on how to make adjustments. These are my humble opinions, and as per #2, I am willing to take responsibility. In other words, “My name is Cody, and I sponsored this blog.”

Lights Out!

As we were leaving church in two cars a couple of weeks ago, my wife called me from her vehicle to let me know that my driver-side headlight was out. I hadn't noticed it, so there's no telling how long it had been out, but sure enough, as I pulled up behind her vehicle at the next red light, I could see in the reflection that only one light was working. I told her I'd look into it.

The next day, I got into the car, and after starting it, got out and walked around to the front to see if it was completely out, partially out, or what. (By the way--I'm not exactly a car expert, so I didn't really know what I needed to see, or why I needed to see it again from the front anyway.) To my surprise, both lights were working. I watched all day, and there didn't seem to be any trouble.

Unfortunately, a few nights later, we noticed that the same light was out again. Maybe it's a loose wire or something, and possibly a blown bulb. I guess we'll have to figure that out. Truth be told, I've never changed a headlight bulb. I've changed a tail light, and my sincere hope is that it is at least relatively close in procedure, as I managed to do that one in under 10 minutes.

With my luck, I'll get the bulb, pop the hood to the car, attempt to make a simple change, and somehow do something that causes the car muffler to fall off the back of the car. It seems a bit dramatic, but that's how these things go for me. Truthfully, I'll do some research and find some pretty good directions before I attempt anything. I'm not like the average dude that is convinced I can fix it the first time without any help. I know my limitations, and figure it's cheaper in the long run to swallow my pride, and just look at the directions, take it slow, and then HOPEFULLY get it right.

Life isn't like those headlights--it doesn't come with an instruction manual to tell us how to do everything. In fact, many times we can feel like we are expected to go it alone without any instructions, and to get it right the first time. As a believer in Christ, I know that's not the case. When I first began my relationship with Him, the Holy Spirit came to live in my heart. Jesus promised He would always be with us, and through the Spirit, He is.

The other thing is that even though day-to-day living has its difficulties and trials, I do have a manual that can help me. God's Word is there to give me encouragement and guidance. Okay, let me pause right here: I am well aware that this has just taken a seemingly very cliche approach to the Bible being the "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth." But stay with me a second, and maybe I can still make a positive application for you.

The truth is, the Bible is the Living Word of God, given for instruction, teaching, and correction. (2 Timothy 3:16) But, as far as specifics go, it won't spell out the answer for how a dad should handle a son's refusal to quit overreacting to the slightest attempt to settle him down. There is no book in the Bible dedicated to helping a husband specifically handle the feelings of inadequacy that comes from not being able to relieve his pregnant wife's back pain. I haven't found the passage of scripture that tells me exactly what time of month is best to pay certain bills so that the paychecks last longer through the month.

BUT, I do know that there are passages that deal with disciplining children and allowing the Spirit to help us maintain patience. I also know that Scripture encourages husbands to love their wives enough to be willing to sacrifice in order to meet their needs. Beyond that, I also know that there are plenty of passages that deal with trusting God to meet our needs and making wise decisions.

So, while there may not be specific answers to some of the issues we face, with the Bible we do have a great resource available that points us in the right direction. At that point, the Holy Spirit within us can step in and guide us to make the best choice based on our current circumstances. There's still some room for human error here, and just because we are led towards a certain path doesn't mean we'll take it. But it's good to know that we aren't left hanging out to dry, just waiting for the next problem to take us further into dispair.

Like my wife, I'm anxious to see if I can fix this headlight problem on my own, or if I'll need to call in someone with more experience to bail me out. But, at least I've got Google--I can find those instructions somewhere, and eventually, and hopefully painlessly, there will be two working headlights once again.

New New Orleans Saints?

I’m not what you would call a “huge” football fan. In fact, I’m not even a big fan. Truthfully, I enjoy watching a good game, and I’ve been known to get pulled into one emotionally with shouting and clapping here and there, but I usually prefer to watch a movie or do something out with my family instead of watching football. Even though I didn’t see it with my own eyes, something about NFL football recently caught my attention, and made it into my conscience enough to end up here.

Yesterday, The New Orleans Saints defeated the New York Giants in the Superdome. Just to shed a little light on the history—the Saints have NEVER played in a Superbowl. The Giants have won 3 of them, and played in 4 (if my math is correct). I know that history doesn’t necessarily have to dictate the present or the future, but it sure does shape the expectations of the spectators.

I grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, about an hour and a half from New Orleans. I remember enough about our State to know that most people pulled for the LSU Tigers in College Football, and tolerated the New Orleans Saints for NFL. In fact, there were many references to the “New Orleans Ain’ts” as a slam against the team for repeatedly doing so poorly. One grocery store chain did a short promotional gimmick where they printed marks to cut out eye-holes in their paper bags so that people who wanted to go watch the Saints play wouldn’t have to be embarrassed about being seen at the game. (People were actually put on national TV wearing such bags!)

The truth is, the history of the team does make it hard for those that have followed them to expect great things from them. However, with a 5-0 winning record so far, surely there are fans who are getting excited that this could be the year!

There is a parallel that runs in the way we view others, and even ourselves. We tend to let history continue to shape our expectations. Many times, the things people used to do, or have done in the past cause us to expect less or distrust them in the present. It’s not always unwarranted, and certainly should be a reason for caution, but I can’t believe that we should etch in marble and granite one’s character and personality based on past mistakes.

The writer of Hebrews tells us to “…throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1) This seems to imply that we can be freed from the mistakes of the past, and do not have to be shackled to the reputations and expectations that come with those sins. Paul says that “…if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation. The old has gone, and the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

If we can get rid of the old, can’t others? And if so, shouldn’t our old expectations also be discarded and a new slate of opportunity laid before those that are allowing the Holy Spirit to heal, re-shape, and change them? It seems to me that we need to be willing to do that for others. I know I’d want the same chance to prove myself as a new creation.

Who knows what the Saints will do for this year. In the grand scheme of things, it’s still just a game that men get paid ridiculous amounts of money to play. But, for those that enjoy watching, it’s a great chance to give an old team a new opportunity to succeed. It will be interesting to see what happens when these Saints go marching in to play!

A Little Steamed

You ever have one of those moments when things aren’t going exactly the way you wanted, and you get a bit frustrated? Have you ever continued the downward spiral where at that point everything continues to make you more and more mad, and you continue to act worse and worse until you find yourself snapping at those around you and escalating the situation to embarrassing proportions? No? Yeah, me neither.

Well, except for this weekend. Saturday rolled around, and like fools, we made plans. Don’t you know that when you have children, and you make plans—they tend to get messed up and fall through? Maybe not every time, but you can pretty well bank on the fact that your specific plans will not happen they way they are crafted and diligently rehearsed and laid out in that perfect little existence of your mind.

We were going to attend the Virginia Children’s Festival in Norfolk. However, while they were not being terribly obnoxious about it, they boys decided they didn’t want to help us out by following our schedule. That got me just a bit frustrated. Then came another little discovery that slowed us way down, but I won’t bore you with those details. Let’s just say I needed to run a quick errand, just as the rain started to fall. In torrents.

The key to this whole story is that every so steadily, my temper and frustration level were boiling up, and I was the proverbial pressure cooker waiting to explode. Finally, I think it was something the boys said or did. The fact that I can’t really remember shows how unimportant it was in the grand scheme of things. But, much to my chagrin, I finally hit my limit.

All in all, I handled it better than I could have. There were no spankings in anger, there was no throwing of items across the room. But there was a bit of volume increase on my voice, and there was the slight issue of banishment from the kitchen forever. (I never said I was completely rational in my reaction.) Long story short, the boys got sent to their rooms in tears, and I managed to act more like the child throwing a tantrum than they did.

The really sad part of all of this was that just as things started heating up, I heard a very clear voice in my mind or my heart telling me, “Take a break, you’re about to get too frustrated.” In fact, I kept hearing similar warnings the whole time. When the explosion came and went, the same voice said, “you don’t really feel any better, do you?” Nope.

In fact, I was feeling pretty low. I was only mad at myself. We had spent a good bit of time at church the previous week discussing the Holy Spirit, and how many of us ignore it, or get it confused. The truth is, in this situation, I was too determined to get my way, and when my way wasn’t happening, I was still stubborn enough to try and get control. Funny how neither of those things happened...

If I had only listened the first time, I think I might have been able to keep my cool. I’m sure of it, because the Spirit works to bring Honor to God, and my yelling needlessly at the children didn’t do that.

Many times, if we just follow the direction of the Holy Spirit, and stick to the truth of the Scriptures, especially that one about Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, and Self-control (which, incidentally, come from following the Spirit’s guidance), we will diffuse the situation before it gets to the aforementioned level.

I smoothed things over with the boys, and I apologized to my wife for acting like a total Neanderthal. (Cue the Geico cavemen.) The day was salvaged, and we ended up having a pretty good day. But, I will never be able to completely take back what I did. Listening to the Spirit isn’t always easy, but it is always the right thing to do.

Belligerent Buttons

I think that the makers of some childrens clothes should be smacked with a wet lasagna noodle. Enough to make the point, but not enough to really hurt or cause damage.

This morning, I watched AGAIN as my two boys attempted to button their shorts before school. they are at the age when they really don't want any help, but need just a little. If I try to step in and do any of it, they turn away and get defiant about doing it themselves.

However, these particular shorts, both of the same brand, have a button-hole that is just barely bigger than the button that must pass through it. I'll be the first to admit thay my children are highly gifted and advanced in their fine motor skills (don't all parents say that?), but even I think this particular button is difficult. I even spent a few minutes cutting the hole bigger last night before laying the clothes out for the boys!

Basically, what ends up happening is that I see the boys having trouble, and they OBVIOUSLY need a little bit of help. So I try delicately to reach in, only to get pushed away or fussed out for helping. I try to reason with them about how much they really need the help, only to get shot down again. Finally, because I do eventually want to get them out of the room, I force my help on them, and just button the stinking shorts myself. Not necessarily my finest hour as a daddy, but I didn't yell or hit them, just upset them a bit.

Look out! It's a spiritual application on the way!

Ever notice how people just need help, but don't seem to know it? Maybe they are depressed or down or just seem to have no focus or direction. What about the ones that would really benefit from understanding that there is a God who loves them just the way they are, and wants to come and begin the process of bringing healing and peace to their life?

We know these people, and we see them around us, and as much as it frustrates us that they won't just open up to God's love, it's not like that button. We simply can NOT force this issue. We just stand by, patiently waiting, letting them know we're there to offer some help, and when they are finally open to it, we step in and bring God's love with us.

It's not always a guaranteed fix. Some people still reject the help we offer, even when they've invited our help. That is just the way it goes. But, we pray for them, and we wait patiently. Just like my boys who will eventually quit having trouble with those crazy buttons, some people will finally just quit fighting and learn how to give it over to God and to allow His love into their lives.

Meanwhile, I'm considering a petition to all children's clothiers to just put snaps on the pants and shorts of any size that any child under 8 years old would wear. I think it would just be easier and quicker. Probably won't work, but who knows?

Wisdom From WALL-E

I was brushing my teeth this morning, when I overheard one of my sons utter the phrase, “Acquisition Confirmed.” He was playing by himself with his Hot Wheels, and at first I thought I didn’t hear correctly since the toothbrush noise in my head was too loud. However, as I stopped and listened, He said it again. “Acquisition Confirmed!”

I didn’t realize my son knew such words. There was a moment of pride and a flash-forward to the Nobel Prize Ceremony that would come in just a few years, before I realized that what he was saying was him just repeating words he’s heard in a movie.

You see, on Sunday afternoons, the only way my wife and I get any kind of downtime, albeit a very short downtime, is to have what we call “Quiet Time” with the boys. They don’t really nap anymore, so we usually put in one of their movies, hoping that at least they’ll sit still and get some rest that way while we snooze on the couch and in the recliner.

One of their favorites to watch over and over again, (much to our dismay) is the recent Pixar release, “WALL E.” Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I thought it was clever, but there’s only so many times I can watch that movie! However, my boys love it, so we cave in if it means an hour and twenty-eight minutes of peace.

Near the end of the movie, there is a scene where the ship’s main computer (sorry if you’re lost—see the movie) gathers a plant sample, and says the words, “Acquisition Confirmed.” This is what my son was repeating this morning. Mystery Solved. So long pride…Nobel Prize, you may still happen.

What scared me was that even though I consider my sons incredibly gifted and intelligent (from their Mother’s side, I’m sure), this was still a mouthful to remember and repeat. What I realized is that sometimes even the most complicated thoughts and ideas can get into our minds and stay there. This is dangerous, because the world is constantly throwing stuff at us.

Sometimes it’s very complicated mumbo-jumbo that tickles our ears and our desires to be independent and “free.” Other times it’s simple and sounds like “conventional wisdom.” Whatever description you want to put inside the quotation marks, the point is, too many times we let it into our minds and thoughts because it sounds good, so it must be true. At other times, we don’t even realize we are letting it in, and are not aware of the influence these things have on us.

There’s an old song that says the words: “Be careful little ears what you hear…for the Father up above, He is watching down with Love, so be careful little ears what you hear.” The idea is simply that God is always aware of what goes into our minds through what we hear. If we’re serious about honoring Him, we should pray about any new ideas we think sound great, and then measure them against His Word before we determine that it’s a new, wonderful way of thinking.

I certainly have nothing against thinking for yourself. In fact, when you do make the decision to honor God on your own, I believe it actually means more to Him than a forced decision. Just be consistent—Seek Him on all things, and look for His wisdom and direction when faced with the world. He is faithful, and while this is admittedly very, VERY cheesy, by staying committed to Him, you are one of those who becomes an “Acquisition Confirmed.”

Hope Sneaks In

It’s been awhile since I posted, but hopefully now that the insanity of summer has settled into the chaos of the school year, I can get back into a productive routine. Of course, during the school year, there are still things that come up out of the ordinary, and take us places we don’t always expect.

This past Saturday, I participated in a local “Out of the Darkness” walk, that is designed to raise awareness of suicide prevention, and the link of suicide with depression and other un-treated mental illness. As one who works with teenagers, who are not exempt from these same things, I felt like it would be good to check it out and be a part of the activities.

So, along with two of my trusty kids from church (they know who they are, and they are WONDERFUL), I headed to Mt. Trashmore, a local park, lake, and otherwise nice place to meet and hang out. As I sat at one of the picnic tables waiting for the program to start before the walk itself, I noticed that many people there were wearing T-shirts they made with pictures and names of loved ones they lost to suicide. I’ll be the first to admit, I was worried that it would be a depressing time, which to me seemed a bit ironic.

However, what I quickly discovered, is that while these people were all here because of a terrible event that took a loved one, they were remembering how these folks lived. There was an area called the “Memorial Tent” where pictures of suicide victims were displayed for people to see. Inside the tent, on a large sign were the words, “…They are not defined by how they died, but how they lived, and how they were loved.” It ended up being a very touching display of support for one another.’

Those of us who were there as general participants were challenged to make sure we watch our own friends and loved ones so that any warning signs could be spotted and help offered in time to make a difference.

So there I was, sitting at my picnic table noticing these shirts, when two ladies sat down at our table. Both were wearing a shirt of what turned out to be the husband of one lady, and the son of the other one. The dates on the shirt told us that this particular man had taken his own life just over a year ago. Several times they hugged and put their arms around each other in support.

Also sitting at our table was a young mother with her son, who was probably just about 9-10 months old. During the program, as the speakers focused on the need to be aware, and the need to support, this little baby was playing and smiling and just being about the cutest little kid as he could be. What I noticed was that the two ladies who lost the loved one were interacting with this little boy, and were smiling and laughing through their tears. Playing with this baby that was so full of life was helping them find hope even as they remembered the loss of life so close to them.

That was a moment that I saw God working. It was nothing earth-shattering, and it probably would be considered silly by some, but who else could it be to bring Hope in a tough time? I remembered the little snipped from Jeremiah, “…plans to give you hope…”

I learned two very important things that day. The first was that although those of us that haven’t been directly affected by suicide tend to gloss over the issue, it is still something to which we need to place more effort and emphasis, and about which we have a real need to increase our education.

The second thing was that even in the midst of tough or hard times, God can provide hope—even in the form of a drooling baby. We just have to be willing to see it, and keep our hearts available for the comfort that He can bring.

New Understanding

I've decided that I love being a parent. I've also decided that I hate being a parent. It's not that I don't love and adore my boys. I do. I can't get enough of them! They're getting so big, and so smart! We have the best time together when we finally get to play. I can't believe how many different skills they are picking up. The other day, one of them beat me at Wii bowling, and I wasn't "letting" him win. They can write their names (sort of), they can sing songs, and they know more about cars at 4-years-old than I know at 33!

They have become more active in their bedtime prayers, which is really fun to see them growing in their understanding of God. They still thank God for everything from their parents to the ants that we saw crawling in the kitchen. (Daddy and Mommy were NOT as thankful for that last one.) It's child-like, and it's wonderful! These are just items that are the tip of the iceberg of why I love being a parent.

However, there are times where the boys are not quite so agreeable and easy-going. They are old enough to know what they want, and to know how to react in great, dramatic ways when they don't get it. We are trying to teach them that we don't always get what we want, and I'm sure you can imagine how that goes! Many of us still don't get that lesson as adults!

The other fun lesson is that sometimes we still need to do things that are the right thing to do, even when the right thing to do isn't what we want either. My boys don't always want to brush their teeth, but the dental issues that would follow would be worse for them than the sheer torture of a 2-minute brushing. This is what leads me to the part about being a parent that I say I hate. It's not the arguments with the boys. I'm not a fan, but I can survive that.

What I hate is the giant Spiritual Mirror that is placed in front of me as a dad. I get mad and upset when the boys don't follow my directions. I try to give them choices and help them learn the right things to do, but sometimes they go their own way, even when it's not good for them. There are even times when I wish I could remove their free will and make them do what I need them to do. These are the times I realize--I AM this kid, all the time, and my Heavenly Father must look at me with similar frustrations.

God has given me the ability and freedom to choose. I know what's right, but go against it sometimes. I don't always follow the directions given to me, and sometimes I find myself right smack in the middle of willful defiance. I've always been aware of these things on an educated, mental level. I have even dealt with conviction on a real level for some of these things. But, it wasn't until I became a parent that my understanding grew, and as a result, my awareness of how short I fall of the standards God has for me. So, in reality, I don't actually hate being a parent--I just hate the sin that I see in my own life as a result of this new clarity.

The positive flip-side of this is that as I learn these things, and as I demonstrate forgiveness to my children, my understanding and appreciation of God's forgiveness to me grows by leaps and bounds. I am continually amazed and thankful for His willingness to take me as a stubborn, pig-headed, know-it-all, head-strong, punk, and with grace and patience, continue to try and mold me and grow me into a real man who follows God. I'm not there yet, but with God still working on me, at least I'm headed in the right direction.

What Was I Thinking?

The old saying goes, "O Ye of little faith..." Well, I was "Ye" on Friday. In preparations for our annual Pancake Dinner and Silent Auction, we ask the Sunday School classes and Ministry groups of the church to create and donate "theme baskets" that we can use as the items for bid in the auction itself. I was struggling because we had what appeared to be less participation than in years past. However, we also had a few baskets that exceed what I call the "creativity quotient" of the past, as well.

So, what I had was an option to see the positive side of things and be excited for the new creativity and the buzz of excitement that was coming from several of the groups and individuals that participated, or I could simply look at numbers on a page and get worried that our efforts to raise funds would fall short of previous years.

I must admit sheepishly that even though I tried to keep it positive, I ended up on the numbers side of things more than I wish I had. Before we got started, I was already convinced that we were not going to do as well as we have in the past.

This is the point in the writing in which sound effects and bright lights would be good. Here's where I freely put these words out there of my own accord: I WAS WRONG! In spite of what looked like fewer baskets on the tables, people showed up, made generous donations, and exceeded not only my expectations, but numbers from the past years. In fact, the numbers are not even important. I heard so many positives about the atmosphere and the fellowship and the fun among all those that participated, that regardless of how we did financially, the night was a success.

So, for anyone that might have detected or suffered from my attitude, I apologize. I usually tell others to remain positive and avoid thinking negatively, and here I was doing the same. My only hope is that in this public apology I can offer another lesson: Be humble and admit when you're wrong.

This mistake has given me a "refresher" course on faith and how God is bigger than the odds. When we simply rely on the worldly things and the circumstances of life apart from God, then yes, we will be inclined to be disappointed and see only the negatives. BUT, if you draw on the hope and faith that comes from God, and put all your expectations on Him, then you will have a hard time being disappointed, because God will work to bless your heart and touch your life in any and all situations.

Moving Stinks...I think

We finally bought a house. We've lived in the area for about two-and-a-half years, and with the market being down just a bit, we were able to get a house that we like alot, and got a great deal! Unfortunately, when you buy a house, it usually means you have to then move to the house to live inside of it. Which also means packing, and loading, and unloading, and unpacking--blehck!

We have all of our junk in the new house, and I dare say we are probably around 65% unloaded, but as soon as I say that, I'll discover a whole new mess of boxes that need to be relocated within the house and opened and all of that. Oh well...it's a good thing.

Here's my issue. I'm not sure if there is something inside of the house or what, but just days after moving in, my allergies kicked into overdrive, and as a result, I've had a really runny, stuffy nose, along with itchy eyes and that itch in the top of my mouth/back of my throat that you just can't get to go away! If moving stinks--I sure can't smell it!

It may have been mowing the grass for the first time, which coinsides with the allergy attack. It could be that there are about 900 flowers and plants around our new yard. Looks nice, but wreaks havoc on me! Or, horror of all horrors, the previous owner had a cat that we didn't know about, and the cat remnant in the ventilation ducts could be messing with me. Who knows? I could probably just go to an allergist and start getting shots, but that's about as appealling to me as having dental work done with a jack-hammer.

But, in spite of my less-than-desirable sinus issues, I'm enjoying the aspects of a new place. I like that it was my yard to mow. I enjoy that I worked for three hours in overgrown bushes with thorns to try and make the backyard more enjoyable for my boys. I think we inherited a beautiful yard with wonderful colors and plant life. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Once we get a good rain, and the pollen in the air dies down a bit, I should start to feel better. After we've changed out the air filters a few times inside the house, any existing cat dander (if any) will start to lose it's potency. But, even after they are gone, I'll still have a home to call my own. God has provided a wonderful place for my family and I to live. We like it, we're happy, and we can see the hand of "Providence" in our lives, taking care of us.

Too many times, we let the little things right in front of our faces block out the wonder that is beyond ourselves. I have decided that sniffles and all, I'm looking past my nose, and enjoying the blessings of what God is doing in my life right now!

Color me...

I was a little blue the other day. Literally. My boys and I were coloring eggs for Easter, and as I was helping them, I barely touched the blue dye with one finger for about half of a second, and it stained my finger for two days. TWO DAYS! Less than one second of contact with the dye left it's mark for 48 hours. I was amazed that something so seemingly insignificant could leave such a powerful reminder of what I had been doing.

Here's the part where I started thinking...because that's my thing. I like to analyze and overthink everything. Maybe somewhere I could be accused of being an educator, but I look for the "teachable moments" in the mundane things of life. I didn't necessarily gain anything extraordinary right away. In fact, it was later on that I made the connection.

Several days after the "Blue Dye Incident," as I've come to call it--I can be a bit dramatic at times--I read an editorial about songs that get in your head and stay there for days and days. Suddenly, all the synapses fired, and the connection was made.

You see, with some songs, it only takes hearing a split-second or a fraction of the song to bring the whole song to mind, if you know the song. In some situations, you only get to hear a snippet of the music, and suddenly that's all you hear in your mind's ear for the next two days! The same type of thing can happen with movie quotes. To this day, if anyone uses the word "Inconceivable," I am immediately transported to the land of Giants, Men in black masks, and Miracle Max, and can very clearly hear Inigo Montoya saying to Vezzini: "You keep using that word...I do not think it means what you think it means..." (Rent "The Princess Bride" if you don't get it.)

My point is this. Little things can stick with you, and can have an effect on you. Even if it is almost imperceptible, there is a change that takes place, and it doesn't take long. A catchy musical hook or clever movie line need only to be heard one time to change your memories and stay with you forever. Blue dye can leave it's mark for two days with the tiniest amount of contact. The things we allow to pass before our eyes and through our ears will have an effect on us whether we want to admit it or not. Therefore, it makes sense that we need to examine what we purposefully allow to cross the barriers of our senses, and make sure we are not putting things there that will pull us in a negative, downward direction.

Some argue that these things won't have any effect on them, and that's it's just my opinion. To me, that's like saying, "I don't believe that bus will have any effect on me" as you step in front of the oncoming Greyhound. At some point there will be a collision of your beliefs and reality. I just hope it's not as messy as the bus thing.

We cannot control every single thing that comes into our perception. But, when we do have the choice, we should be aware that it will affect us, and so we should wisely determine what we allow to entertain us. Your mind is yours, and the decisions you make are ultimately yours. Each of us has the responsibility to recognize what things affect us more than others and make our selections based on who we were created to be, and whether or not what we allowing into our minds and hearts will encourage that, or make it more difficult to be the person that pleases God.

Enough Love

The other day, we were in a sandwich place after having been out all afternoon. They boys hadn't had their nap, and they were a bit grumpy. But, still trying to fight this, one of them turns to play with the other. (Why do we let them sit next to each other in a booth, again?) However, the younger brother decides that he's not in the mood, and puts his hand on his brother's face, and pushes him away.

Of course, this was the end of the world to the older twin, and he put up a shout. We turned to the grumpy bear and say, "He was just trying to give you some love!" We try to encouraged loving behavior in our family, and we feel that this helps. Even if it doesn't. However, the grouchy kid looks at us with a scowl on his face and says, "I have enough love!"

We fell out laughing. Never did I imagine that such a phrase would come out of his mouth. I can certainly understand being a bit tired of your siblings, and I can understand not wanting to goof around, but I would not have imagined that response. Now, I realize that in his mind, he didn't literally mean he had enough love for the day. He just meant that he was done playing right then and there. But the words still brought laughter.

Can you imagine if someone you cared about said "I love you," and your reply was, "uh...thanks, but I have enough love!" It just doesn't happen that way. We all like having love in our lives. We don't always enjoy showing it, and at certain times, we don't always feel like receiving love in various forms, but I do not for one minute think that there are people out there that simply do not want love of any kind. I believe we are all made with the innate ability to demonstrate some kind of love, and the even subconscious desire to have some love and affection directed towards ourselves. I haven't done research or anything, but it's just my thought.

1 John 4:8 simply says, "...God is Love." There are a bunch of people out there who will tell you that what this means is that if you can love someone else, then you are a god yourself. I disagree whole-heartedly. What I believe this means is that unless we know the giver, creator, and very essence of love itself, which is God, then we are not capable of loving in our full capacity. There are parents out there who don't have any relationship with God that love their children fiercely. I'm not implying that you can't love at all. I am saying that why would you settle for a two-gallon supply of love when you could freely tap into The never-ending tanker?

Do you love others the best that you can? If you haven't ever entered a relationship with God, then my challenge is to give Him a try. He has demonstrated His love, and promises us that with the Holy Spirit, that comes to us in a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ, we can demonstrate love to a whole new level, and we will experience HIS love to heights we never before imagined. That way, instead of wondering if we have enough love, we can know that His is Love enough.

Scenes From the Rear-view Mirror

This morning during my quiet time, I rememer specifically praying that today I would find humor in the things that usually bring frustration. Not necessarily "Bah ha ha!" laugh-out-loud funny humor, but a light-hearted approach and the ability to smile or laugh it off.

Here's a great little story of how God answers those prayers. As the boys and I were waiting to pull out of our neighborhood, a lady in front of us waited forever to make her left turn, forgetting that there was a lane specifically created to turn into and wait for a spot in the oncoming traffic. If she had gone into that lane, she could have merged more quickly at least five or six times that I saw.

After a good four minutes of waiting, the guy waiting behind me finally lost his cool, and shot around both of us to turn the same way, and made a very inconsiderate and Kamikaze left turn in front of both myself, and the car in front of me. So, needless to say, I was a bit frustrated. She finally went, and I finally got to turn left into that extra "merge" lane. When I did, a kind driver coming my way flashed their lights to let me go in front, so I acknowledged their friendly gesture with a wave towards the back window.

My boys were in the back seat, and they asked why I was waving. I told them it was good manners to say "Thank You" to people when they do something nice, and the car behind us let us in, which was a nice thing to do, so we waved to say thanks. A little while later, I found myself getting cut-off several times while we were in the merge lane on the Interstate (imagine that). Suddenly, I notice these little hands waving in the rear-view mirror. I asked the boys what they were doing, and they said, "We're using good manners and saying thank you!" I had to laugh, and suddenly the frustration was gone!

The rest of the ride was pretty easy, because every time someone cut in front of us, or behind us, my little gentlemen-in-training said "Thank You" by waving at each and every one of them. (Even though some of them were not actually doing nice things.)

It's neat how God can take something and use it to bring a smile to our face, if we are willing to let Him do so. I can't promise that tomorrow morning I won't get frustrated at the countless number of selfish drivers. But today, God showed Himself faithful, and reminded me that He is in control, even during ridiculous traffic.

Getting Rich

Yesterday, for whatever reason, I decided to pull up some old Rich Mullins on my mp3 player. Immediately, my boys shouted, "Daddy, we've never listened to this song before!" It occurred to me that maybe in the last four years, we had listened to Rich Mullins some, but not enough for the boys to recognize it. Truthfully, many of the students I work with now probably don't even know who he is. I think that's a shame, and maybe I can still do something about that.

Most current teens don't know about him because in September of 1997, Rich Mullins was on his way to performing a benefit concert in Kansas, and was involved in an automobile accident, and died. Seems like a downer of a story. However, if you know about him, you know that he is finally home.

Rich Mullins was easily one of the best songwriters in Christian Music. One could argue that he was a great songwriter in ANY genre, but the mainstream world has a hard time accepting music whose lyrics bring honor to God, proclaim the Truth of Jesus Christ, and challenge people to step beyond themselves and become more of who God hopes we will be. That's what Rich Mullins' songs do. Notice it's in the present tense. Even though he is gone, his challenging lyrics will continue to reach into the heart of those that dare to let them in, and will shine a light on areas that need improvement or will encourage those that need it.

Rich Mullins covered alot of ground in his lyrics. Probably his two most known songs are the Praise & Worship song legends, "Awesome God," and "Sing Your Praise to the Lord." Others have risen to the top of my personal fave's such as "Screen Door," which is a challenge from the book of James to put some action to your faith, a strange looking title of a song called, "allrightokuhhuhamen," which is simply a song about the power of God's word, and then "If I Stand," which is a humble song about a man who wants nothing more than to trust in God and follow where He leads.

Rich Mullins did alot of work building relationships and teaching music on Native American Reservations in the Midwest, and had a heart for people who were some that Jesus might call "the least of these." He chose not to live in the lap of luxury, trusting elders from his home church to oversee what he made from his career in Christian Music, and allowed them only to pay him an amount to just above poverty level, so that he would never be driven by greed. The rest of his money was put towards some of his work on the Reservations or other charitable causes.

It is safe to say that Rich Mullins had an impact on me. If you have never had a chance to get to listen to any of his music, I recommend it highly. I'm thankful that not all the stuff on the internet is garbage, because it can be a resource to learn some really good stuff. Check out this video of Rich in Concert. It's a small portion of a full concert, but you can get a good glimpse at this man who spoke his mind, seemed pretty likeable, and was a great musician and songwriter. I'm sure he's playing greater music where he is than any he left here, but I'm glad he left some good stuff for us!



(Check out more on Rich Mullins HERE.)

Like me some LEGO Star Wars

This weekend, I did something kind of stupid. I stayed up until 1:30 AM playing LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy. To some of you, that's not such a big deal. To the Father of two pre-schoolers who needed to be at his best for church the next day, it was quite the bad choice.

But, I can't help myself! Once I get started wielding the light-saber, and smashing up the little blocks, I just don't want to stop. I'm not particularly great at it, but as far as video games go, I'm better at this one than most that I play. (Except for Guitar Hero--I ROCK! Or at least the game said I do...)

My favorite way to play is in the "Free Play" mode. That way, I've already made my way through once, and have a chance to go back and use different characters to do different things that I didn't do before. I especially like using my own created character, which is actually really nothing special. I just created Darth Maul from the "newer" versions of the Star Wars Saga. But, lest you get too excited, you can't use a double-sided light-saber like in Episode I. But, it's red, so it's allgood.

I used to stay up late all the time in college, and even now, I can handle the late nights. What was really dumb about the whole thing was more that I was not even considering what Saturday night means in the preparation for worship the following day. Our Pastor says it all the time, that Sunday Morning worship is not just about being in the room, but just as much about preparing our hearts in advance for what God will do there during the worship. So, by staying up until 1:30, focusing on a video game, I very obviously made my choice about what was taking priority in my life this weekend.

Then, to top it all off, one of my boys came to see me at 5:15 on Sunday morning. There was a minor night-time potty incident, and I had to change sheets, and made it back to bed by 5:33, only to have to get up at 6:15 to get ready for church. I'm not saying God made my son pee to teach me a lesson, but I certainly learned one.

I learned another one on Sunday, as well. In spite of how I wasted the previous night, and regardless of how sleepy I thought I was, God showed up on Sunday, and I was incredibly blessed by the worship service. I pray that my worship was pleasing, but God's Mercy and Grace demonstrated to this LEGO-loving video-game-a-holic, was much greater than "the Force" ever could be.

I Scream for Ice-cream

I really like ice-cream. It’s quite easily the closest thing to a food addiction that I have. My very favorite is Mint Chocolate-chip, and it would be a toss-up between Mayfield or BlueBell as to which is my favorite brand of it. (Both are now available in your friendly, neighborhood Harris Teeter stores.) However, due to the cost of these particular brands here in Virginia, I have had to find some alternatives. I also began to realize that I need to branch out and try new flavors.

I really enjoy chocolate-chip cookie-dough, Rocky Road, Party Cake with Icing ribbons, and one from Kroger’s brand called, “Black Raspberry Chocolate Chunk.” Without a doubt, most people have their favorite Ben and Jerry’s flavor picked out, but these are also quite pricey and must be saved for those very special occasions. Like Thursdays.

For awhile there, you could not enter our house without expecting to find at least 2 half-gallons of ice-cream in the freezer. We would indulge in a small bowl just about every night. However, around this past Christmas, I decided that I had been eating way too much of it. Yes, I said it. I was just as shocked to hear the words coming out of my…off of my fingers…well, I was as surprised that I thought it, as some of you may be that I typed it. Make sense?

There really is too much of a good thing when it comes to ice-cream. While I may not have been putting on weight, per se, I know that there were probably things going on inside of my body that I could NOT see that were just as dangerous to me. Cholesterol, sugar intake, and whatever else I’m forgetting from my basic college Biology or health classes. Just because I could not see the dangers, didn’t mean they were not there. I decided it was time to cut back. I only eat ice-cream on the weekends now, and while there are days that I miss it, I know it’s better for me.

In the great, grand scheme of things, ice-cream is not usually considered a terrible danger to many people. Sure, there are diabetics and people with allergies that would disagree, but my point remains the same. Even things that are considered harmless by many folks, can carry some degree or element that can do more damage than good when abused or used incorrectly. Jogging is considered a healthy way to exercise, but if you have bad knees or a bad back, then not so much. Reading books is a good way to expand your mind, but if you read worldly books that influence your beliefs and actions in a negative way, then maybe you should go back to shrinking your mind.

My point is this. Almost anything that we consider to be good and helpful can be misused and turned into something harmful. We have an enemy that takes anything he can use, and tries to harm us. Whether by destroying our reputation, or character, or our health (such as the ice-cream), he tries to get the best of us.

Fortunately, our God is bigger and better than our enemy. What the devil intends for harm, God can use for His purpose—which is always good. I’m not sure how that all fits in as far as ice-cream goes, but when you find yourself in a rough time, when the world seems out to get you, and you really are doing your best to make your decisions according to God’s leading and instruction, then know that HE is at work in your life. HE is watching you, and HE will lead you through with new insight, new faith, and a renewed sense of who you are in Christ. That’s better than any mint chocolate-chip!

Driving Woes

You know, I enjoy my children. Alot! So, when someone on the road uses very poor judgment, or is just plain obnoxious, I have a hard time not getting angry, since they are actually putting my children in danger by doing so. Especially when they're pulling up in my back seat or cutting me off and barely missing the front fender. "These are my kids you're endangering, dude!" I shout these kinds of things at them--sure that it will help them change their ways.

Yesterday, as I was heading out after two sick days in a row, I noticed a large red Dodge Ram coming up quickly on my rear bumper. I already had intentions of changing into the right hand lane, and was reaching for my blinker when the guy started to swerve into the right lane. He quickly realized what I was doing, stayed in the lane behind me, and apparently gassed it, as suddenly he was just about on top of me. I must not have changed lanes fast enough, because as he passed, he pretended to swerve close to me as if to offer a warning.

Now, I'm not a violent guy most of the time, but I WANTED to pull the guy from his truck and force him to learn some manners. What I did was to have an inner war and hold my tongue and actions to a very minimal , “What a stinker!” (Remember, my boys were in the car, and I did NOT want to teach them that behavior. Let them learn it from their friends at school, where we all learned it!)

The truth is, what I saw as rude, obnoxious, and juvenile, is exactly what people observing my life would feel about my behavior at times. I don’t believe any of us is exempt from doing things that fall short of the socially acceptable norms. Sure, some like to argue that we should each do “what’s right for me,” and have no consideration for how their actions affect others. But, the moment my “what’s right for me” is inconvenient to those people, suddenly, there is a set standard they want to pull up.

The truth is, if we would all just kind of follow the Golden Rule of “Treat others the way you want to be treated,” I believe things could be a lot better. Oddly enough, Jesus said something like that, too. “Love your neighbor as yourself,” was how He said it.

So instead of worrying about what all of the Red Dodge Ram guys do to me, what I should consider is how can I be pro-active in how I treat them? What can I do to demonstrate the type of behavior I wish to receive? To some, it seems naïve, and everyone is certainly entitled to their opinion. But, I am going to choose to try and follow Jesus words. So the next time I see Red Dodge Ram guy, I’ll move out of his way earlier, and hope that he stays safe on the road!

Not Feeling so Good

Well, it's the time of year where lots of peole get to feeling pretty rough. I myself, have done everything I can do to avoid it, but it has caught up with me. I have these waves that pass over me that feel very flu-like. I get kind of loopy feeling, and go through fits of coughing where I feel like my toes are being pulled inside out and passing through my mouth.

But, I will get better. It may take a few days, and I will do my best to take the right medication to treat the symptoms. Then, after some time passes, I'll be back to my normal self.

As I like to do, let me take this to another level. How many people out there are sick in a spiritual sense, and don't realize it? Sure, they feel like they're doing well, but the truth is, the illnesses just lie dormant for awhile until the right time when they will wake up and terrorize the host. These may be things like lies, lusts, cheats, thefts, and a host of other "viruses" that attack the spiritual condition of people. When the conditions are right, they rear their ugly heads, and manifest themselves in equally horrible ways.

What if you forget to study for a test--that "cheater" germ begins to drop subtle symptoms. What about when you get caught doing something you shouldn't be doing? "Liesus fromya mouthus" is the clinical name of the disease that can strike at this point. Be careful when you surf the internet, because "Lustius Maximus" is an aggressive parasite that latches on to the host and can cause a lifetime of hurt.

You get the idea. (Hopefully.) Do what you can to avoid these illnesses, and if you discover that you are suffering from one or more, then go straight to the source of healing, and pray for relief. God will hear your cries, and if your heart is committed to the treatment, no matter how difficult it may be at times, and you're willing to follow-up with preventative care in the aftermath, then you will see results and succeed in breaking free from the spiritual sicknesses in your life.

Mustang Fever

I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point in the recent past, my boys became fascinated with Mustangs. When we are driving to and from school or church, they feel the need to point out every Mustang on the road. Sometimes they call the wrong car a Mustang, but for the most part, they quickly identify Mustangs of various years. Amazing kids, aren't they?

I like Mustangs, too. I especially like the older ones and the newer ones that are designed to look like the older models. My sons have a Hot Wheels car that is a '69 Mustang, and it is all black with flames on it. I'm not a huge fan of the flames, but it's easily my favorite one of all the 200+ Hot Wheels cars that lie around the house.

What is it about some things that make them our "Favorites?" Why do we pick out certain characteristics that we connect with more than others? Some people like Camaros. Some like Corvettes. I'm a fan of the Mustang. (And the new Dodge Chargers, but that just goes in another direction...) The thing is, they are all CARS. They serve the same purpose--to provide transportation to the driver. They get us where we need to be.

Now, Hit the brakes and change directions. Think about Worship services at church. Some people have different preferences. Some like the Modern Services with music centering around Guitars, Drums, Keyboards, and catchy hooks and song titles. Some prefer the Organ and Piano with predictable Hymn Tunes and styles. Others still choose to go very liturgical in style and still incorporate chant and responsive readings. There are different styles that connect with people in different ways.

But, trouble comes when people start to compete between the styles. Some swear by the "Old Stuff," while others dismiss it and quickly accept the "new stuff." Remember the cars? They all look different, but serve the same purpose: To get us where we need to be. Worship is similar in that the styles may look different, but they all serve the purpose of transporting us to the throne of God.

I admit freely that this is a simplified look at a growing problem. But, I'm nothing if not simple. I'm not always a big fan of the mini-van I drive, but if it gets me where I need to be, that's more important to me than what the van looks like. If we make our destination for worship (the throne of God) more important than how we get there, then I think we'll find that our mode of transportation will become more inter-changeable, and we will learn to appreciate all the ways and modes in which we come before God.