Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes, I wonder why I even try to, well, try. When I was working at a church in Knoxville, TN, our church was located one block from a Texaco Gas station with a mini-mart. One afternoon, our deacon chairman happened to be doing some work at the church and told us he was walking to the Texaco to get a snack. Just a few minutes after he left, it started raining. Feeling bad, I hopped in my car and drove to the station to pick him up so he wouldn’t get caught in the rain. I got there as he was checking out, and he declined the offer, having thought to bring an umbrella. So, I got in the car to leave. As I was backing up (Since someone else had illegally parked in front of me), I didn’t notice the concrete post that was about two feet tall just behind the right side of my car. I turned the wheel in order to get out, and cracked my bumper on the post. The chairman came out and saw what happened, and so I offered him a ride one more time. Can you believe that he still turned me down?

At another point in my life, I was helping one of the dads at my church coach his daughter’s U8 soccer team. As practice finished one day, we were kicking goals while waiting on parents to pick up their kids. The girls asked if I could kick it from midfield. Being a U8 field must have made me forget that I’m really not that good, because I tried. As soon as I committed to kick the ball and had my leg in the forward motion, one girl saw her dad and took off across the field to get to him. I knew it was going to happen before it did. SMACK! The ball hit her square in the gut and knocked her over. Fortunately, she just got the wind knocked out of her, but I was devastated, and felt horrible for the rest of the season!

Recently, we finally bought a house, and the both of the bathrooms needed updated light fixtures. I managed to replace the one in our boys’ bathroom in just a manner of about ten minutes, with NO problems. Unfortunately, when I got to the Master bathroom, it didn’t work out so well. After a good 6 or 7 hours of wiring, flipping switches, re-wiring, throwing shoes and other reachable items, and re-wiring yet again, I got desperate and called some friends. Luckily one of our good church friends brought over a voltage meter. Turns out, the wiring for the bathroom was backwards, and I wouldn’t have known about it without the meter. It’s always the simple things…

After these events, and many others like them, it should have come as no surprise when we had a leak in our sink this past week. We discovered it on Thanksgiving day, and I promised not to even attempt until Saturday when the family was gone. Without going into too many details, let’s just say that I visited Home Depot twice, and Taylor Do-It Center once. I fixed the leak in the original spot, but created a new one. On my second trip to Home Depot, the third trip of the day, I was pulling in and saw a car in a close spot pulling out. I stopped to let that car out, and they, in turn, waited for the people walking to get by before backing up. I waited just about a minute and a half, and as I finally had a clear shot, I pulled forward in time to see that a white convertible Mustang with Royal blue racing stripes had pulled through the other head-to-head spot, and pulled into the spot for which I had been waiting.

I pulled forward enough to see who was there, and two college-aged girls were in the front seats. I saw the driver look at me, and I kind of made some motions with my hands while mouthing the words, “Come on! I was waiting for that one!” She looked back at me and shrugged her shoulders and gave a goofy grin, which I took to mean, “Too bad sucka! You lose and I Win!” All she had to do was put it in reverse and back up. But, nope, she and her friend got out laughing (at me, I’m sure) and walked into the store. I eventually found another spot, but I was fuming after the day I’d had. By the way, I had one of my sons in the car with me. Which is good, because at this point, I might have lost my cool completely if I’d been alone.

Finally parked, I reached up to grab the interior door handle, and two things happened when I pulled it. The first was that the door opened. How nice and predictable in my day of madness. The second thing to occur was that the door-handle snapped and bent awkwardly backwards, dangling by a small thread of plastic. Just what I wanted! A “Dukes of Hazzard” style Camry where I had to either climb in the window, or roll the thing down, reach outside and pull the handle out there to get the door opened. It was NOT the greatest day of achievement for me.

HOWEVER, in the midst of all the failure and frustration, my wife mentioned something to me. She pointed out that in spite of all the bad luck and irritation I seemed to have heaped on me, I kept it together pretty well. I have been known to allow my frustration to get the best of me from time to time. I have actually thrown things across the room and pounded on walls as if they were the very culprits causing all my trouble. But this time, before I even started, I decided that no matter what, I was NOT going to repeat past tirades. The words from my wife reminded me that I didn’t get to that point. There was one cabinet door that got a one-time smack, but other than that, I did okay, and I felt pretty good about it.

There are not a lot of deeply spiritual lessons here. I’m sure there are Pages of teachable moments that my moments of “trying to help” create, but on this occasion, I simply say this: Sometimes, when you think about your tendency to blow it, and you decide ahead of time that this time you will keep it together, you set your attitude at a higher point than before, and it can stay there. Our emotions do not control us—we choose to give in. Maybe next time I’m facing a potentially frustrating situation, I’ll remember this and somehow add some length to my otherwise short fuse.

Lessons in Thankfulness

You know, being thankful isn’t always easy. Not because there’s nothing for which to be grateful, but because many times I catch myself being a bit too selfish, and spending time focusing on the things that I want and don’t have. As a result, I fail to see the blessings in the fact that I have everything that I need, and much, much more.

My sons are a blessing to me because they teach me so much. In the last few days, they’ve taught me two good lessons. One directly and one around and about just a bit, but still very valuable.

As we were driving home from their pre-school last week, we came up to an intersection where a young man was standing with a cardboard sign informing the passers-by that he was stranded and hungry while trying to travel. My first inclination was to ignore the guy, while feeling that pang of guilt and uncertainty over what to do. Should I give to him, or is he lying and just going to waste it. Conventional wisdom tells me that so many scam artists get suckers like me to fall for them. Spiritual wisdom reminds me that I can’t always accurately judge the honesty of a situation based on appearances. In other words, I still didn’t know what to do!

It only took a few seconds for the boys to see the guy and to ask what He was doing. I told them that the sign he had said he needed some help to get some food and to get where he was going. One of them asked, “Do we have food for him?” Honestly, there are times we have a few snacks in the car, but this was not one of them. I said that we didn’t have any food, and they said, “Do we have any help for him?” I wasn’t really sure how to answer that. I had a few dollars, but was still stuck between my soft heart and judgmental mind. The light turned green and we ended up moving forward beyond the guy and his sign. Fortunately, the story doesn’t end here.

As soon as we passed, the boys said, “Why didn’t we help him?” It only took a micro-second before I said, “You know what, we ARE going to help.” I made a U-turn at the first available place, pulled out my wallet and grabbed the few singles I had. We ended up being first at the red light on the opposite side of the intersection, and as the light changed we slowly crossed and pulled up next to the guy. I handed him the money and simply said, “Excuse me, it’s not much, but I hope it helps.”

The simple questions of the boys reminded me that at that point, it was not my place to worry about whether or not the guy was legitimate. In fact, the point to the whole thing was not that I helped the guy, but that I took a chance to teach my children that when we are able, giving help to someone is not a bad thing to do. We have so much, and we need to be happy about what we have. Some people don’t have a lot, and when we can, we should help. Even if the guy scammed us, my boys learned the value of sharing that day. I learned the value of making the most of “teachable moments” about giving.

The other indirect lesson came from their recent birthday. (Twins, remember?) There were so many cards and gifts that came to the house that my wife and I were not even sure there was anything we needed to get them. Not only that, but with Christmas so close, we were getting calls from family members telling us all of the gifts that were already purchased in advance, and it made me begin to wonder how long it will be before they are totally spoiled rotten with a “gimme, gimme” mentality.

The truth is, I love to get my boys gifts. I am a sucker for a sweet face and a polite, “Please?” But, I also see how many people in the world have so little. How often do I push my own children towards a materialistic world view with all the gifts and “stuff” I get for them? They know I love them—they don’t need gifts to convince them.

This experience taught me that restraint in gift-giving may need to be exercised. My wife and I have talked about it, and are thinking about ways to scale back and open the boys’ eyes to the value of appreciating and being thankful for what they have. I know they’re only five, so believe me, we’ll change the wording a bit, but if we approach this on a simplified and applicable level for them, they can begin to learn and develop a self-less foundation that will help them (and hopefully others) in the long run.

Both of these lessons deal with giving and recognizing the needs of others. Maybe I’m just dealing with a bit of “seasonal guilt,” but I would rather think that God is just getting my attention on this matter. I am praying about how to put this into practice in my own life, and trying to let go of the countless and needless “wants” with which I wrestle.

It’s important to understand that God does not deal with everyone the exact same way. But, His TRUTH is the same. Scripture clearly says that we cannot serve both God and possessions. (Matthew 6:24) There’s nothing wrong with having money and nice things. But, if we are doing all we can to accumulate them, and ignoring the opportunity to share with others or missing chances to set the example in giving, then maybe we should examine where our priorities lie. I know that I need to re-shuffle mine a bit, and I am working on it. If you are one who is generous, keep it up, and look for new ways to inspire others to join you. If you need to open your heart and wallet a bit, pray and ask God to show how you can best use your resources to serve Him. You won’t regret it, and you just might be a blessing to someone else!

Strep Struggles

I spent several days last week on my back due to a horrible threat to mankind known as “Strep Throat.” I’m convinced that this little illness is actually a dark demon in disguise, doing what he can to strip his victims of morale, quality of life, and body heat—which is strange, since I actually had a fever. Fortunately, a great and mighty Angel named “Amoxicillin” swept in and put up a valiant fight against the dark enemy, and defeated him in a matter of a few days.

Okay, so I’m a bit over-the-top. I know it, I’m okay with it, so let’s move on. Actually, I usually tend to be a bit of a weenie when it comes to being sick, so this time, I really tried to just deal with it positively, and not let it get the best of me. I thanked my wife for taking care of me, I still did what I could as the Tylenol and Advil helped out, which included putting sheets on the boys’ beds, giving them baths two of those days, and even washing a few dishes. (Apparently, helping to prepare dinner is not advised when you have a contagious illness. Go figure.)

I actually found myself saying to myself in my inner-monologue, which can be rather entertaining when you get sick, that “even though you feel so bad now, this WILL be over in just a few days.” Usually I lean towards the “WHY, GOD, WHY?! Why did You let me get so deathly ill? What have I done to YOU to deserve this?” type of mentality. I already admitted that I’m a lousy patient, so get off my case.

The truth is, once I determined to simply get over myself, take the needed rest, and keep a temporary mindset about being sick, I can’t say I enjoyed it, but it certainly helped it to not be so bad. I just chilled out (fever joke), drank lots of water, and kept myself occupied with reading, snoozing, and watching a bit of TV.

Being sick is a lousy comparison to some of the other difficult things that can hit us in day-to-day living, but I do think that there is something to be said for determining your mindset before anything ever happens. I’m not one who believes that you need to be happy with everything happening to you or it means that your faith is weak. I leave that for the TV guys who tell you that then charge you $49.95 for a hanky they sneezed in and offered it to you (for a price) because it comes with a blessing.

I do believe that if we could somehow remind ourselves that no matter what comes our way, we don’t have to go through it alone, we have a better chance of pushing through with our faith intact, and our sanity remaining stable. God tells us on more than one occasion in scripture that He “…Will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deut. 31:6, 8, Joshua 1:5.) Jesus said that He is with us “Always,” even to the “…end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20) With the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe promising to be with us, we have the resources available to keep hope in the hardest of times, and perseverance when it seems that the end is not in sight.

Sometimes I worry that I get too trite, or send the wrong message. I wish I could say that everyone who experiences any illness or hard time will definitely get over it and move on into happy times. I know that’s not always the case. But, I have met many people who kept their hope and trust in God even in the face of the most difficult and lasting of circumstances, and I can attest that those people were still able to experience blessings and life in SPITE of their current situation. That’s hope that can only come from God, and it can be found when we determine that we WILL find it, no matter what the world or life tells us, because we have a personal relationship with The One who is the Source of all Hope.

Electing To Rant

I am completely bored…no…fed up with election season. It doesn’t take much. I can’t flip a channel or open the mailbox without having to see some sort of election propaganda! What’s worse is that you can’t change your channel or throw away the paper without getting the mud on your hands. It seems that all the candidates do nowadays is just tell you how horrible their opponents are.

I’m not sure I can determine what any of these candidates really stand for or support. I’m sure with a lot of digging, small cases could be made for some of them, but what really comes across is this message: “You should vote for me, not for who I am, but because of who I am NOT, and I am not this horrible person that will ruin your life!”

I wonder how anyone can even trust politicians, and yet when you watch the news, which also constantly deals with the elections, you see hundreds and sometimes thousands of people getting fired up and cheering for these guys (and gals) more than they would cheer for their favorite team at a football game. There are people who not only trust politicians, but put their whole trust and faith in them to bring about the “better life” they are sure exists out there somewhere.

Our Pastor told us in staff meeting recently that if people are dissatisfied enough with what’s going on, then they will be motivated to make a change. This makes me wonder what I should or could be doing to change a system that just regularly ticks me off. I have no desire to enter the public arena, so running for office myself is not in the question. I’m sure these guys get letters all the time asking them to change their tactics, so I can’t believe that a letter would have much of an impact. Off the top of my head, I’m left with the option of just turning off the TV and throwing away the flyers.
My wife asked me how I would run a campaign of integrity in this day where attacks seem to be the way to go. I truly don’t even know. It’s an area I admittedly don’t explore very often because it makes me cringe. But, in order to try and offer a positive instead of always griping about it, I guess there are a few key suggestions that I would make to anyone considering public office one day:

1. Live each day like you are constantly in the public eye. If you are always on your guard and doing the things that keep you above reproach that no one can use against you, then it will be hard for anyone to attack you.

2. Take responsibility for your actions. Part of the problem is that too many people are passing the buck and making excuses. We are all human, and even in an attempt to get it right, we might stumble. I tend to believe people will forgive an honest mistake for which you’ve taken responsibility sooner than they would be fooled into buying into an excuse.

3. Rise above the negative comments. If people toss out unfair and untrue attacks against you, avoid the temptation to do the same, and either politely decline to comment on these items, or equally as politely remind others of the truth—and if necessary with proof or evidence, while still refusing to insult or poke at those who originated the attacks.

4. Welcome honest constructive criticism from those you trust. If you have people who share your values that serve as your “sounding board” and advisors, then be ready to seriously entertain their suggestions, even if you don’t agree right away.

5. Remember whose you are, and whom you represent. If you are truly to be a civil servant “Of the people,” then you should take into consideration ALL of their circumstances and truly attempt to meet as many real needs as possible. Sometimes doing the BEST you know to do isn’t the same as doing the popular thing to do, but if you truly serve the people, you’ll look out for their best interests as long as they let you, no matter the outcome.

Oddly, as I look at these things, I see strong similarities to what I would consider a life that Christians should strive to live. If you adjust the first point to read “live each day remembering that you are in God’s and the public eye,” it challenges us to remember that we never know who sees us “letting our light shine before men,” or “hiding it under a basket.” We must live every moment pointing towards God.

The other adjustment would simply be to clarify statement #5. I know that I am God’s child, and as a follower, I represent Jesus Christ with every moment of the day, no matter where I am and whose company I keep. As The One who gives me salvation, He is the only one that matters, and if I make living as close to His standard as possible, then I will be less likely to step into any huge scandals, or do things that bring embarrassment and shame.

Not everyone will agree with me on this, and I’m okay with that. (See #3 above.) I just don’t feel right complaining or venting my feelings about the scarcity of positive campaign ads on TV unless I’m willing to offer my ideas on how to make adjustments. These are my humble opinions, and as per #2, I am willing to take responsibility. In other words, “My name is Cody, and I sponsored this blog.”