Addictions?

Okay, it’s confession time. Let me step into the booth, pull the curtain shut, and slide open the window between the two compartments. “Bless me, for I have sinned. It has been forever since my last confession, and I don’t really know how to say it, but I have developed an addiction. It started as a simple way to pass the time, but now it has become an obsession. I can’t stop thinking of it. When I look at people, I immediately begin to see this vice and carry out scenarios of how to bring it to fruition in the moment. When I see places that have certain physical characteristics, I see ways to change them to lock into the right pattern in my head. I even look into the cereal bowl, and the marshmallows in my Lucky Charms trigger the ideas.”

The kindle/facebook/smartphone app for the game “Jewels” is one that many people know. I got started on it years ago on pogo as the game “Sweet Tooth,” and now then again on a Mah-jongg computer game that had a similar idea to it. Now, with a new Kindle Fire in the house after Christmas, I re-discovered it, and downloaded it for my phone. Oh, not just one, but two different versions of the same game! I can’t seem to help myself; at every available opportunity, I start it up and play. I play when I’m letting the baby play in the bathtub for awhile, I played waiting at the dentist for the big boys, I play while watching TV, and I’ve even played it in the bathroom. (TMI?)

My “addiction” to this game has gotten so that even when I look down at my keyboard on my computer, I want to slide the keys a certain way and watch them disappear. While driving, I can see the patterns that form in the signs, buildings, and cars around me, and want to weave in and out of traffic just to line up with green cars in the other two lanes to make a line. I even envisioned what it would be like if I shifted a kid’s nose between his eyes on Sunday, and then I realized how morbid that would be. Plus, they weren’t all the same, so it wouldn’t help my game any.

Have you ever noticed how quickly something can become an obsession for us? I have discovered through the years that I have an addictive personality. FORTUNATELY, and only by the grace of God, I have never really dealt with the drug and alcohol side of that issue. For me, the focus varies, but the habits are still there. When I was still single, I got hooked on the old TV show “7th Heaven.” I would watch it every day in syndicated reruns, and when I found out it came on earlier in the day, I began setting my VCR (yeah, I’m that old) to record episodes every day. To this day, I have a box of a dozen or so VHS tapes full of episodes of that show sitting in a corner of my office collecting dust.

There was another time before I got married that I became obsessed with the Donkey Kong 64 game that came out for an earlier Nintendo Game system. I would rush home from my first job in youth ministry, and turn on the game, and spend hours playing. I would usually pause the game long enough to make a sandwich or something, but then I’d be right back at it until wee hours of the morning. I was never very good, but that didn’t stop me from playing and thinking and dreaming about that stinking game.

While living in the same city, and still before I got married, I would spend lots of times at Blockbuster renting movies. There was one located on my way home from work, and it was not uncommon for me to swing in and rent a movie, and bring it back within a couple of hours and get another. I was probably in that place every day of the week at least once. The folks that worked there knew me by name, and I think they secretly pitied me for being such a sad specimen.

Aside from understanding why I was probably single until later in my life, I think I’ve demonstrated what kinds of things pull me in. What I hope it’s also done is help you to begin to visualize the things in your life that we lovingly call “our guilty pleasures,” or make jokes about how they trigger our “OCD” tendencies. The truth is, many of us carry around addictions, and just because they aren’t of the drug and alcohol variety doesn’t mean they aren’t dangerous (although, those are certainly included in this whole idea). It may be your need to have Starbucks at least once a day, or maybe you’re obsessed with getting an iPad for $23.99 on quibids.com. How much facebook is too much, and what about texting and twitter? I personally believe that the folks who are on “extreme couponing” have some kind of addiction to be able to keep up with that lifestyle. What if the compulsion to make sure your kids are “involved” and “well-rounded” leaves you killing yourself to get them to five different practices during the week and seven or eight games on the weekend as well as harping on them to finish their homework while dismissing church and Bible study altogether?

How many quality things in your life go by the wayside due to one of these addictions? I miss the opportunity to see my son play in the bathtub when I’m hooked on my game. I missed many opportunities to develop at least some friendships in those years of being single. Even worse than all of that, is the way these addictions tend to feed my “SELF” that tries to rise up within me.

As a believer in Jesus, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20) I have put to death that selfish nature so that I may “...take up my cross daily and follow [Jesus.]” (Luke 9:23) If I claim to be a believer, but put so much effort into these “addictions,” and the selfishness inside of me that drives me towards them, then I am not taking up my cross and dying to myself to live for Jesus. In fact, I’ve created an idol or two; one of myself, and another from the addiction.

I’m not saying that all of these things are in and of themselves bad things. I just think that if we are going to claim to be true followers of Christ, then we need to listen to what His Word says, and recognize how easy it is to lose sight of what our true center of life needs to be, and not let the activities of our day revolve around lining up three jewels of the same color. It speaks volumes that after struggling and literally stressing about finding the matching colors, these jewels simply disappear. The things of this world are fleeting, but a growing, dying-to-self, actively-following-Him relationship with Jesus Christ will last us all our time on this earth, and through the rest of eternity. As Steven Curtis Chapman eloquently says in his song, let’s make Jesus our “Magnificent Obsession.”

Me Vs. Who?

I was in my early twenties when I finally figured out just how competitive I am. In fact, until that point, I actually believed I wasn’t so concerned with winning. The truth is, since I’d been working with youth and children in ministry for several years, I either stood off to the side and served as the “official” during games, or I was just so much older that I naturally could play and win the games against younger kids.

However, when my wife and I started dating, we began spending time with her family, and we played games. This opened my eyes to just how much I hate losing. I would find myself getting very frustrated, and would actually dread being with her family, because I was afraid if I didn’t play well, my true colors would come out, and they would kick me to the curb!

With my eyes opened to this new revelation about myself, I had to learn how to chill out, play the best I could, and just enjoy the fellowship and the time spent with other people. I couldn’t compare how well I was doing at a game I had just begun to play against people who had been playing for years and understood some of the finer nuances of the game. Of course they were “better” than me. Experience will do that. I haven’t lost the competitive nature of my personality, I’ve just learned to control myself a little bit better, and understand how to look at a bigger picture now, and base my results on a different scale instead of always winning. Sure, sometimes I win, but now, I enjoy myself a whole lot more regardless of the final score.

Have you ever noticed how we tend to carry this competitive nature into our lives beyond games? I know--we live in a world DRIVEN by competition. Who will be the best at this, win the most medals for that, who will make the most money, get the most votes, be listed in a particular magazine’s “power list,” and grab the highest honor in some particular category for some significant body of voters.

I have seen competition rear it’s ugly head in the lives of Christians. Not the healthy kind like who can stuff the most marshmallows in their cheeks and still say “chubby bunny,” or which gender can bring the most pennies to give to missions. Rather, what I see is a competition of comparisons that seems to be scraping the bottom of a barrel. Working in ministry, I hear comments all the time about “well, at least I’m not doing…,” or “I’m so glad I’m not like him…,” or “It could be worse, I could be…”

We’ve all heard those comments. I’d venture a gamble that most of us have even said those things ourselves. It’s just competition with a different twist. Instead of always trying to be first or best, many Christians do what they can to point out how they are not the worst. As long as we know someone else who is a “worse” Christian than us, we still feel like we’re doing okay, and that our “God card” is still safe.

Then there’s the other type of competition with ourselves between our good and bad. It’s like we keep a running tally in our heads: Okay, today I’ve lusted, lied, stolen, slandered, been jealous, and disrespectful. BUT, I’ve also complimented someone, shared my lunch, talked to that loser that no one really likes, let that blue car cut in front of me in traffic, gave 16% on my tip at dinner, and smiled politely at the lady in the store. Oops...it’s all tied up, I need to do something good--here, I’ll hold the door for this elderly gentleman. Whew! I’m in the black on good deeds verses sins.

The truth is, scripture tells us that we should be comparing ourselves only to Christ. All of that stuff that we believe is better than someone else? “...all our righteous acts are like filthy rags...” (Isaiah 64:6) Keeping up with all of our good stuff to make sure we’re okay? “...As it is written: ‘There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.’” (Romans 3:10-12)

Yeah, good luck with that! Here’s a better idea. Instead of wasting our time on worldly standards of good, better, and best, let’s just do what we can to live a life that looks like Christ. The Apostle Paul knew the tendency to want to compare to other people, but He pointed people a different direction: “...Be imitators of God.” (Ephesians 5:1), and for those that still watch people, be the right kind of example: “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ…” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

I challenge those that claim to be followers of Christ to stop the comparisons, unless you’re willing to compare yourself to Jesus Christ. But, if you do that, be prepared to fall short--because we all will. The good news is that with the Grace extended to us through Jesus, we can continue to move forward. Paul makes better use of this idea of competition than we do in today’s world: “...Run in such a way to get the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:24) Our prize is a relationship with Christ in this world, and in eternity. The only competition that could hold us back is ourself, and our unwillingness to surrender to Jesus Christ.

As we see other believers, let us encourage them to do their personal best--not compared to anything or anyone else, but in regards to their level of commitment. As followers of Christ, we already have the victory, but we must finish the race. The attitude we carry as we run can determine how many people we bring along for the race with us, and can enjoy the fellowship of the race as we await the finish line.

My Thoughts on Tim Tebow

While I like to watch a good game, I am NOT a sports writer. So, don’t expect lots of good football details from me. However, I DO want to talk a bit about the AFC Wild Card game this past Sunday between the Steelers and the Broncos. Those that know me realize I’m not a huge fan of any team. I enjoy watching exciting games, and I like to pull for teams based on coaches and players that I like. I like what I know of Mike Tomlin. I would have been okay if the Steelers had won. However, I find myself really becoming a fan of Tim Tebow. So, as a result, I was pulling for the Broncos.

When it comes down to it, I want to see Drew Brees lead the Saints all the way. Having grown up in Louisiana, there’s just something about a home state team that pulls at my heart--especially since LSU couldn't win it for us. But I digress. In the meantime, I’m going to pull for Tebow’s team and watch with eager anticipation. (Actually, I’ll just check scores for the next game, since we’ll be on a retreat while they play.)

The thing that draws me towards Tebow is the very thing that makes many people cringe. He is a man of faith. He has made no bones about it, and even in his college days, you knew where he stood. Suddenly, he starts getting play time and takes over as the starting quarterback, and it seems like his outspoken and bold lifestyle regarding his beliefs are very controversial. I don’t remember hearing so much about it in his college years, and with a wife as a die-hard Tennessee fan, believe me, we paid attention to any controversy swirling about the sworn rivals-for-life Florida Gators. Sure, there was some talk of it, but nothing like we’re seeing now.

It seems to me that people had a willingness to look past it in college, but now that he’s in the NFL, It’s time to grow up, and understand that this “faith stuff” needs to stay under wraps. So, he has taken quite a bit of criticism and mocking, complete with the SNL Skit that takes easy shots at him. There are many who rip on his ability as a player and make claims that he isn’t any good and he has no business playing this game. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t he get nominated for the Heisman trophy three times, winning it once? Didn’t his aforementioned college team win National Championships with Him? He may not be the greatest to play the game, but I think he’s established that he’s got something going for him.

No, I believe the scrutiny for his play is just a cover to the real problem people have, which is his outspoken faith. I believe they just don’t like it that someone who is as open with his beliefs actually appears to be genuine and honest, and is making a difference. There are those who really like to see Christians fail. I bet they can’t stand it that Tim won’t back off or even dignify the criticism with comment. A few weeks back, I heard a snippet of an interview where reporters were asking him about all the criticism, and his only comment was to reference one guy that swore that Tebow’s success was a fluke and if he won the sixth game in a row even HE’D go to church. Tebow’s comment was simply to ask if anyone knew if he followed through and actually did go.

You see, when Christians maintain their faith in the world, even in places not quite so public as the NFL, other people notice. The ones that don’t want to have any accountability for their actions or responsibility to act in a moral way take notice of these Christians, and begin to accuse them of being “intolerant” or “unaccepting” of other’s beliefs. The funny thing is, I’ve been accused of this myself, and all I did was to refuse to take part in an activity that I didn’t agree with. All I said was “no thank you,” and I was accused of being judgmental and mean. Seems to me that the role was actually reversed. But, our job is to stand our ground. Scripture says to “...take our stand...and after [we] have done everything, to stand…” (From Ephesians 6:10-18) Even when we are mocked, criticized, accused, judged, dismissed, betrayed, slandered, or any other type of persecution, we need to maintain our faith, and remain true to the standards we claim to uphold. We need to know God’s Word, and put it into practice each day. When we make that kind of stand, people will notice, and some will be drawn in and become followers themselves.

I say let’s pray for Tim Tebow and other Christians in the NFL. They have a great opportunity to reach many fans with their message. While not all of them are as outspoken, they all have opportunities, and who are we to say that our prayers aren’t the ones covering them in their moments to share Christ. Tim Tebow may not be a New Orleans Saint, but I have no doubt that he’s made an impact on people, making him a saint in their eyes.

UPDATE: My sister shot me THIS LINK, and I think it's a pretty good article, only affirming the good stuff we've learned about Tim. (Can you see the link?)

What BUGGIES Me The Most

I admit it. I messed up. I’m not ashamed to say it, though I’m sorry it happened. Here’s the story: I was trying to run a quick “after-Christmas” return, and as I tried to pull into the parking lot at the store, I about smashed into one of those mini-sized shopping carts. It was smack in the middle of the parking space, and I couldn’t see it until I had almost cleared the large truck parked next to that space. I had to hit reverse and find a new spot. I did actually move that buggy and took it in the store with me so that I didn’t just leave the problem for someone else.

Later on, as I was driving with my wife as we left Target (it’s amazing what being away for a week will leave you needing at the house), I saw another buggy just shoved to the side of a curb, not really put away, and not really “in the way,” but rather lazily left behind, none the less. Feeling very righteous in my frustration, especially since I had put away the earlier buggy, I began a rant about this being just a symptom of everything wrong with our society, that selfish laziness causes so many issues that just overflow into one another. Somewhere in between the society part and the issues part, I began to have this nagging feeling.

That’s when it hit me...I AM that guy! See, the part of the story that I conveniently left out was the part where I was in Target, and decided against one of the purchases in the cart. It pains me to admit it, but instead of taking the item back to the appropriate place in the store, or even manning up and just telling the cashier I no longer wanted it, I just found an empty spot on a shelf and put it down. Now, here in the car, as I was busy talking about the evils of selfishness, I was convicted of my own act! My face was the same color as the Target.

“Oh that’s really not so bad,” some might be saying. Well, compared to other evils in the world, of course, it looks quite simple. It’s not like I robbed the place, or sprayed pepper spray in anyone’s face for an Xbox 360. BUT, what we would be guilty of in that case is comparing to the world, by looking at the outward appearance of things.

However, we are reminded that it’s not on the outside that matters, but what’s on the inside. “...The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) In my heart, I gave in to the temptation to put myself first instead of thinking of the workers that would have to take that item to the proper place on the shelves.

It’s very easy to look at what’s going on in the world, and justify what we do by comparison. It’s just a little disrespect, it’s not like I’m killing innocent people! I just took a 5-dollar bill from my dad, I didn’t steal a car. It’s only my mom’s prescription pain killer, what’s the big deal when people shoot up all the time?

Jesus tells us clearly that what is in our heart comes out in our lives. “...the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” (Matthew 15:18-19) Sure, Jesus says “out of the mouth,” but I believe firmly that the implication can safely be made that it also should be demonstrated in our lives. Besides, Jesus also says to “...Let our light so shine before men…,” which supports that as well.

The “small” acts of disrespect, “borrowing” money from parents, or taking a pill meant for someone else are symptoms of a heart that is not fully committed to God. When we rebel against any of God’s standards, no matter how many steps across that line we actually take, it shows that in our hearts, we are acting for ourselves, and not for God.

The truth is, we are all guilty of these “little” things from time to time. Scripture tells us that we have all “Fallen short of the Glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) That’s why we need a Savior so badly, because even in our best intentions, and even though we may look great on the outside compared to the world, we will never measure up to perfection. Jesus’ sacrifice and resurrection give us hope that these sins don’t have to keep us from God. The gap we leave as we fall short is closed with the bridge of Jesus’ love. Instead of comparing our mistakes to the shortcomings of the world (which, if I may be so graphic, is like comparing dog poo to cow poo. Sure, one’s a larger mess than the other, but they are both nasty and stink!), let’s look at our hearts and examine from where the shortcomings originate. Let’s pray that God will lead us even in the small things to live for Him, and to demonstrate His love to the world around us. Then maybe we can all remember the buggies, AND return items to the proper place on the shelves.