Wave to me

Inevitably, when you drive anywhere, you are going to have to rely on “the kindness of strangers” to let you into different lanes, to merge with traffic, or some other situation. The other day I had my older sons in the car with me, and someone let me merge in front of them. I did my customary wave to say thank-you, and then noticed that my boys had both turned around and were wildly waving at the car behind us as well. I guess that’s a good thing. I hope it wasn’t distracting...

I never thought anything about it--it was the way my parents taught me, if someone does something nice for you while driving, you acknowledge it with a wave. Apparently others were taught the same, because there have been many times when others have waved at me when I let them in, and it’s always a nice little thing that helps me not assume all of humanity is evil.

However, the past few weeks, I have continued to let people merge, and the little waves are gone. No longer do people acknowledge that I didn’t have to slow down and make sure they got to join ongoing traffic. I thought maybe it was just me, but the same knuckleheads in the backseat that have been waving more than the ocean said something about it. “Dad, why doesn’t anyone wave anymore to say thank you when you let them in?”

I didn’t know what to say. I just told them that maybe they did wave and we just didn’t see it. I hope that’s the case, but I have also noticed that the little acknowledgements are gone when I let a person with a shopping cart go ahead as I hold traffic in the grocery store parking lot, or when I hold the door at the post office for the mother with a stroller and two other small kids. (Maybe it was because she was also talking on her cell phone...but don’t get me started on that.)

What I really hope isn’t happening is that we as people are moving more and more away from basic manners and decency. Maybe it’s just that everyone is ill right now with all of these weather changes. Whatever it is, I am really praying that it is a temporary thing and not something that will last.

This is a call to all of you who claim to be followers of Christ: If you truly believe that we are to love God and to Love Others like Jesus tells us (Matthew 22:37-40), then remember that even the small things count. If someone holds the door for you, then give them a smile and say thanks. If someone lets you merge in traffic, wave to them. Continue to do those things for others, even if they don’t acknowledge your act of kindness.

It seems like such an insignificant thing, but really, aren’t we supposed to stand out from the world? Maybe doing these things that no one else will do will be the thing that someone notices and asks about, and opens the door for us to share about God’s love. Who knows? But, is there really any harm in trying?

Awards Fatigue

I’m a big fan of magazines. There’s just something about the glossy pages and the pictures and stories that get my attention and hold it. I actually look for ways to get free subscriptions, and have found several of them through the years. If you look, you can find them. I have had one for an arts and crafts journal, a surfing magazine, TIME magazine, a few different music ones, and I have even gotten some for my wife like Women’s Day and Glamour. In her defense, she never asked for those, I did it thinking of her, and while she appreciated the gesture, that last one just wasn’t really her cup of tea--not because she isn't fashionable or beautiful--she just didn't need a magazine to tell her how. Oh well.

One that I have actually paid for and subscribed to for almost ten years now is Entertainment Weekly. I know, it’s very superficial, and I must admit that my fascination for the entertainment world is probably bordering on “vice” level for me. With Music, Movies, and even Novels being such a big obsession hobby for me, EW tends to keep me informed about what’s going on in those worlds. I discovered that with three children, my awareness of what’s new or even good has gotten considerably smaller.

There is about a three-month period every year where I dread getting my EW magazine. It starts about the last week of November, and runs through the last week of February. In that twelve-week period, there are at least eight or nine covers of the magazine committed to the various awards shows such as the Golden Globes, the Screen Actors Guild Awards, and of course, The Academy Awards. What’s really bad is that all the awards shows pretty much mimic each other, and so you pretty much get the same magazine for that time, only the page order is shuffled, and the dresses the actresses wear change. Other than that, I don’t really see the difference.

We get told over and over how “important” these movies/films are, (apparently the difference is whether or not they actually make money--if it brings in the cash, but the critics don’t like it then it’s a “movie,” if it doesn’t make money, but the critics seem to have enjoyed it, they call it a “film”) and how “ground-breaking” the performance of the actors is, but I wonder if at the end of the day, it’s really just another way that the Hollywood culture tries to keep themselves as the Idols of our day?

It’s not very subtle, you know. The actors, directors, and producers make sure their names are all over the movie posters and advertisements, and then they actually campaign to win for some of those awards shows. Then, in almost every case, they get some sort of gold statue to designate their win. These little statues represent the idols we have made of the people who win them. It’s kind of pathetic, really.

Now, I love movies and TV. I will be the first to admit that I enjoy the escape that they offer when the day has been stressful. I like to unwind by spending about two hours living vicariously through the actions and circumstances unfolding on the screen in front of me. I’ll even go so far as to say that I appreciate them for their entertainment value. But I can’t seem to wrap my mind around the fact that we make these people “heroes,” and we act like their opinions on politics, global events, and the economy are worth more than other people. (For the record, an actor who earns anywhere from five to ten million dollars for being in a movie should NEVER be allowed to criticize or join in on a conversation about a “failing” economy. Just my humble opinion.)

If we keep an appropriate level of respect for the actors and actresses for doing their job of entertaining us, and even transporting us to a world of make-believe, or portraying a real story in a way that captivates us, then we are appreciating and recognizing their talents. Nothing wrong with that. It’s the over-the-top, regal treatment that gets me. Where are the awards shows for the nameless researchers who have contributed to the advances towards defeating cancer? What about the people who work hard to bring home a modest income only to turn around and give much of it away as they sponsor and work for charitable organizations? Who will foot the bill for a national telecast of awards given to policemen and firemen who daily put themselves in dangerous situations for the sake of others?

I guess the basis of my rant comes down to this: Jesus simply said, “...Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39) This passage tells us that we are not to elevate ourselves above others. The Apostle Paul gives another branch to this thought in Philippians 2:3 when he writes “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” When I read these, I see no trouble or conflict if I choose to encourage someone, or show appreciation to them for a job well done. I don’t see any problem in being touched or blessed by what someone else has done. But it seems to me that to seek out approval or to campaign for the acclaim of others is not in line with these passages.

I guess I just wish that hollywood would use it’s influence in a different way. I wish they would just take a less selfish point-of-view. When there is obviously a large group of people who look to what these celebrities are doing and jump behind whatever cause they are paid to endorse, it just seems to me that there is an opportunity to reach out and offer hope in a time where many are without. It would be really cool if more of these millionaires put up some of their own cash to support causes that really make an impact and better the lives of people on a basic needs level. (I love dogs, but if half of the Animal Rights Celebrity money went to hunger or homeless causes, what kind of change could be made?)

Yes, that’s an idealistic dream at best, but if movies can feature love triangles between werewolves, vampires, and humans, while fighting evil wizards and transforming robots, while a group of old toys looks for a new home on FaceBook where they discover a support group for psychotic ballerinas, boxers, comic-book heroes, and Gritty cowboys, that all meet in a building that can bend and fold itself, then why not hope for a different output from this hollywood machine?

Update Your Frustration

Last week, I successfully got a virus on a computer that was supposed to be protected by anti-virus software. That’s me--doing the supposedly impossible. As it turns out, it ended up being a relatively harmless event. Coincidentally, my fellow office staff and I had been recently encouraged to switch to a different anti-virus software, so I used this occasion to do just that. I “upgraded” from a free program to a paid one.

I ran through all of the steps that were required, and when it was all said and done, the new stuff was installed. I also had a new CD that I wanted to put on my mp3 player, so I ripped it, and then plugged in my player. Enter new trouble. The player is no longer recognized by my computer. It made the “new hardware” noise when I would plug it in, but never did anything else.

To keep this from becoming a long technical story, what basically happened is that I rolled back some software, only to discover that it still didn’t work, and then I really just wanted the newer version back, but when I tried to to that, the computer gave me the message that my computer couldn’t handle it. Funny thing is, I’ve been using the newer version for over a year already, and one little “fix” messed it all up.

Now, I’ve got a computer that won’t work with my player, an old program that I don’t like, and a temperamental computer. (Fortunately, it has become my secondary computer and not the main source for work.)

This got me thinking. I know, scary. We live in a world that is constantly selling the “upgrade.” There are so many “new” products out there that are supposed to be the top of the line, and the best model yet. My BlackBerry, which is supposed to be a leader in smart-phone technology, was brand new at the time I got it, and supposed to be ahead of the curve--maybe that’s why it was called “curve.” Either way, there have been a few issues with it, and as it turns out, I don’t think it’s even manufactured anymore. Oddly, in spite of my other issues, I opted to do an “upgrade” on my BlackBerry software last week. The good news is that BrickBreaker runs smoother. The bad news is that now my phone gives me funny messages about registering on the network and there’s no telling where my facebook app went.

One of the hyped up Superbowl ads featured Ozzy Osbourne and Justin Beiber, and it was introducing a new program at Best Buy where you can pay a fee, and Best Buy will purchase your old model of something once the new model comes in and makes it obsolete. It was an ad basically admitting that they were always just trying to get us to step up and buy the “bigger and better” model. Not sure I like that idea. It doesn’t instill great confidence in my current products.

ANYWAY, here’s my point. We are always trying to upgrade to keep up with the newest, hottest “whatever.” It’s a dangerous idea because it really creates an atmosphere of temporary. Don’t like something? It’s okay--it’s not gonna be around for long. Impatient with something? Trade it in for a newer, better one. Tired of waiting 15 seconds for a video to download? Upgrade and only wait 10 seconds--It’s WAY better!

I am one who believes that this world is NOT my permanent home. But, it is the place where I learned about and entered into the Relationship that reserved my spot in my eternal home. My relationship with Christ is permanent, and it is already the biggest and best relationship I’ve got. The problem I have is that too many people see a relationship with Jesus as just another religion, and the world tells them that if one religion doesn’t fit their ideas or tastes or happens to be “old fashioned,” then they should just trade it in for one that they like better.

Where’s the commitment? What kind of faith is anyone developing anywhere? Faith implies a commitment to believe in something, even if there are doubts or concerns. Just because the electricity goes out in a storm doesn’t mean I will quit using my lamps to provide light. Jumping our faith back and forth isn’t really faith at all. Going for the newest and most popular just represents a need to please the “SELF” that we all have, and that some of us really try to fight.

I guess my point in all of this is that I hope that as a Follower of Christ, I can set a positive example about staying put in what I already believe to the best relationship ever, that never needs an upgrade or download. When I became that “New creation” that 2 Corinthians 5:17 speaks of, it was the only upgrade I’ll ever need. I certainly need to plug in to God’s Word to make sure my Operating System doesn’t get corrupted by the viral sins of this world, and the Holy Spirit inside of me will help me to process and execute the commands of my Savior. But, I’ll never have the need to try and find something else, because I already have the 3G that I’ll need: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit. (Okay, it was a bit cheesy--but clever enough to stick!)

A Life-Lesson From "24"

My wife and I have totally gotten into the show “24.” Yes, we know we’re about nine years late, but we never got into it while it was on TV in the first place. We bought the DVD set for season one after several recommendations, and we got hooked right away.

Agent Jack Bauer is a pretty tough guy with a soft spot for his family. Many of you have already seen all of this, but for those that haven’t, here’s a quick summary of what is happening. The series follows a day-in-the-life of Special Agent Jack Bauer who works for the Counter Terrorism Unit of the United States. (CTU, for those in the know.) At midnight, CTU gets a tip that a Presidential Candidate is the target of a terrorist organization, and gets to work. Meanwhile, Jack’s Daughter and eventually wife get kidnapped by the same group, forcing Jack to do some things they want in order to keep them safe. However, while some things Jack does are outside of his orders, and even against the law, He does his very best to maintain His integrity and follow through with his original assignment to keep the Candidate Safe.

Meanwhile, on the Campaign Trail, Senator David Palmer (the aforementioned candidate) is faced with several integrity issues of his own. He discovers his son was involved in an accident seven years ago, and his wife and kids have kept it from him. Several of his high-paying campaign donors are also involved in keeping some damaging information about this accident away from the media because they really want him in office. In order to keep it quiet, they do some things that are illegal as well. As it turns out Senator Palmer goes public himself with all of this, in spite of what it may do to his career as a politician.

We are exactly one episode away from finishing this first season, and so far, I’ve really related to both of these men. Not, because I’m a tough guy, and certainly not because of my love of politics, but because I see two men who love their family, are doing the best they can to do their jobs well, and they are trying very hard to maintain a life of integrity. This is who I want to be. I WANT to be a good husband and father. I WANT to do my job well, and I WANT to maintain a life of integrity.

I will be the first to admit that I do act selfishly. I’m not immune to that. But I would like to believe that once I realize what I’m doing, I take steps to correct the problem, and even apologize to those who have been slighted or hurt by what I’ve done. I’ve had to apologize to my wife and children on more than one occasion. I hope that what I’ve taught my boys is not that living a perfect life is what I expect from them, but rather that they do their best to live according to what is Right, and when they do make mistakes to own up to them and to accept responsibility for their actions.

Unfortunately, in the world today there are many people who don’t really care about integrity. They do what they want to do, and have little or no regard for the possible consequences. They don’t consider how their actions could negatively (or even positively) affect others, it’s all centered around self. Instead of taking responsibility, they look for someone else to blame, or make excuses and dismiss their mistakes. I see too many students adopting this lifestyle, and it scares me. What scares me more is that in some cases, the folks we depend on to hold people accountable for their actions are also those who have a philosophy that excuses and enables this lack of integrity. Eventually, no one will be held accountable for what they’ve done, and all you will need is a good excuse to dismiss your wrong-doing.

Could I be over stating or taking this a bit too dramatically? I actually hope so, because then none of what I fear will come to bear. But why take chances? If more people lived a life of integrity, it would not eradicate conflict. There would still be disagreements, but the way these are settled would certainly be more civil and not so prone to harmful outcomes. If we all took a bit more time to think about how each of our options will affect others, I believe there would be a drastic, noticeable change in our society, and that it would happen quickly.

While all of Jack Bauer’s plans have not been perfect, and he is not without his faults, at least he appears to be trying to do the right thing in the whacked-out circumstances he’s facing. That, I believe, is what seems to keep him going, has earned him quite a few supporters, and is an admirable quality. I can’t say the same for that surprise traitor...

Wind-Up Cars

It’s been awhile, and I regret that. I like to put things down because I remember them better that way, and too many times there have been things worth remembering that I forgot because I didn’t type them out or write them down. My loss.

I did see something yesterday that caused me to want to get back to this blog. As my family and I were driving home from church, we approached a rather busy intersection. As we were turning right, the light for those wishing to proceed straight ahead changed to green and the line of traffic began to move forward.

I heard one of those cars that had the modifications to make it sound “cooler” and louder, which really just make them sound like glorified wind-up cars. For a reason unknown to me, I felt the need to turn and look, and when I did I saw that someone in one of these wind-up cars felt the need to zoom around the first car in the line of forward proceeding traffic. Not really such a big deal in the grand scheme of things, right? Except that they did this in the middle of the intersection that was already limited in space, and placed others in danger because of their impatience.

To make it more ridiculous, if that little wind-up car had waited all of 3 more seconds to get across the intersection, the road becomes a two-lane road and they would have had plenty of room to make the pass safely and legally. But alas, that was not the case, and as a result, they have become the focus of my blog and will internationally be known as that “irresponsible wind-up car.”

Okay, so it’s not that international, but it still helped me to remember how incredibly selfish we are becoming in our world. So much of what it marketed is done by appealing to our sense of self. We are encouraged to grab all we can, and not just worry about the consequences later, but don’t even consider what consequences could even occur. This is a dangerous line of thinking that is catching up to us more quickly than any of us would like. Too many innocent bystanders have become victims to someone else’s selfishness, and there is no one being held responsible for that.

For those of us that claim to be followers of Jesus Christ, and hold to His teachings found all through His Word (the Bible), this type of selfishness is not new. It is a worldly teaching that has existed as long as people. Adam and Even decided they wanted to have something bad enough to go against God to get it. King David wanted someone else’s wife, so he took it. The Pharisees wanted their traditions and laws so much that they missed the Messiah standing before them.

Jesus makes it simple: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

Love God, and Love Others. Doesn’t require a lot of complicated steps to remember this. BUT, it does not make it easy. Loving God and others requires putting aside selfishness, and that can prove to be difficult. BUT, if we at least lean towards trying hard to do this, I believe that could be a huge turning point in our world. It’s asking a great deal of people who do not choose to follow Christ, but if those that do claim Christ would shake off this worldly behavior and live more selflessly, we would make a greater impact than we know, and then maybe the wind-up cars would be more careful. Maybe then I wouldn’t mind the wind-up cars so much.

Parking Lot Etiquette

The other day, I needed to make a quick stop at the grocery store for just one item. In the car with me were the twins and my dad, who was in town to spend some time with us and his new grandson. Wanting to get in and out quickly, I looked for a spot close to the door, and as I was driving down one aisle, I saw an open spot on the row directly next to us.

I sped up a little, careful to avoid parking lot pedestrians, and turned the corner with no other cars coming to take away my gem of a parking spot. However, as I got closer to the space, I noticed something that was hard to see from other vantage points. The large, black Suburban parked next to this space was across the parking lines, and was essentially taking up two spaces, thus rendering this space useless, except for maybe a motorcycle. Seeing as I left my Harley in my imagination, I had to move on.

As I slowly made my way further down the aisle, I noticed another spot just a few spaces away from the now-defunct Suburban-blocked space where I had originally intended to park. I began my left veer to make the wide right cut into the space only to discover that not one or two, but three grocery carts were left in the middle of the space by shoppers, leaving this space as equally un-useable as the other one.

Eventually, I found a space just short of a quarter-mile away from the entrance to the store. As I walked in from the lot, I noticed that the grocery carts that foiled my secondary plans to park were less than twenty feet away from one of the pre-arranged drop-off spots that the good people of Kroger put out there in order to avoid such a dastardly inconvenience as had occurred to me. Is it that difficult to walk the additional ten to twelve steps to put your cart away and therefore OUT of the way of other customers?

As far as the Suburban driver goes, there was plenty of room to back up and straighten out. If he or she didn’t notice that they were well over the line, then they shouldn’t be driving that thing to begin with. (By the way—this particular suburban didn’t have the distinguishing stickers on the back that clearly marks the same vehicle that a good friend of mine drives. You’re in the clear, J.)

The truth is, all of the people who were responsible for the improper placement of vehicles and carts probably didn’t even care that their actions were inconvenient and inconsiderate to others. In fact, there are many times when they simple things we observe demonstrate a growing lack of consideration for anyone else. DC Talk had a song a few years ago with a line that sums it up: “This disease of self runs through my blood, it’s a cancer fatal to my soul.”

Selfishness combined with a general sense of apathy is slowly taking over our culture. It seems like it’s not enough sometimes, but the best way to try to overcome that disaster is to go completely opposite in our actions. We should go out of our way, even the additional twenty feet, to make sure that what we do and say keep the feelings and circumstances of others in mind. Even if no person or being is around us at the moment of grocery cart deposit, someone will eventually be around. The other shoppers who need parking spaces and the attendants who have to collect the stray carts will appreciate our actions, even if they never know the identity of the ones who were thoughtful to their plight. Let’s double-check our parking spaces to make sure that we have used ONLY the one that is marked for us, and have left adequate room on either side for the mother shopping with her baby, who must open the door to remove the infant carrier from her back seat, or the elderly man who isn’t quite handicapped, but needs a bit of extra room so he can gain his balance upon exiting his vehicle.

If we continue to think of these “unknown” faces, and can encourage others to do the same, I think we can make just one of hundreds of small differences that will collectively make a huge impact on the world around us. Go ahead and do your shopping—but be warned, you never know who will notice your thoughtless actions and blog about them.

Guitar Journey

I love playing guitar. I’m not one of those guys who can sit for hours and hours every day and play and learn every famous lick and riff that has ever been on the radio, but mostly because I have other responsibilities, and the time in my life for that has passed.
However, it is still an activity that can bring about great relief and relaxation. (Especially if I had that PRS shown here...) If I am having a particularly stressful week, it’s nice to just be able to plug in my electric guitar, crank up the distortion and the volume, and go to town. Usually I play all 2 songs I know several times each. Then, I pretend that I know what I’m doing and try to make up some other stuff that entertains me. If you ever sat in on one of these little “personal jam sessions” then you probably wouldn’t be terribly impressed with my skills, and I’m okay with that.

The other day, I finally decided to sit down and learn the opening to a song I’ve liked since high school. It has always sounded so very impressive to me, and has fascinated me to no end. A few years ago on a clearance rack, I even discovered a guitar tablature book with this song in it, and bought it so I could learn this little part.

Finally, during my lunch break the other day, I pulled out the book and opened up the music. It looks really impressive on a page, because it’s a pattern of sweeping sixteenth notes that jump all over the neck of the guitar. I was immediately intimidated and started second-guessing myself. BUT, I can be stubborn at times, and I was determined to figure this out. After spending a few minutes kind of looking at what I was doing, I realized that it could be broken down and practiced a bit at a time. What it boils down to is a grand total of 2 measures of music, repeated 3 times. 32 notes in each run, for a grand total of 93 played notes. No, my math isn’t wrong—the final run varies and drops three of the notes.

After taking it nice and slow, I finally got my mind wrapped around where my fingers were supposed to land each time, and after only 15 minutes, I was able to move my hands to the right locations for every note. After a half-hour, I could play it from memory at half-speed. By no means is it as clean and pretty as on the CD, but I was happy with my progress, and look forward to getting better at it so as to not sound so lame the next time I go to Guitar Center and sample a floor model guitar.

One of the reasons I love guitar so much is that no matter how much I learn, there’s still more out there. Even if I were to become a Virtuoso at the thing, there would still be much to explore. I could practice and become so proficient as to be able to fill-in with a Jazz band, play a classical guitar concerto, or rock to loudest metal you’ve ever heard, but there would still be things I could learn to take my skill further and further.

Life as a Christian is similar, and obviously different. With a guitar, I feel like there’s no “Final Destination.” However, as a follower of Christ, I know where I’m going to be for eternity, and I am excited about that! The journey is what makes the two similar. I have been in church my whole life, and have been a believer for most of it. I guarantee there’s still SO much to learn; Not only intellectually, but in application, as well. Things I have heard since I was three may take on new meaning in my thirties. Lessons I learned when I was ten may not grab me until one day when I’m a grandfather. When I continue to open my heart to what God’s Word says, and stay willing to learn, I will go further and further in my understanding, which will unlock new mysteries and spark new interest in the things of God.

Like the versatile guitarist playing different styles of music, a Christian who continues growing and learning will find application in different areas of ministry, and will find new ways to put into practice the understanding and knowledge they have attained, and while listeners can be delighted at the sounds, God can be pleased with the music of our service to Him.

I’ll never be a Peter, Timothy, or Apostle Paul any more than I’ll be a Joe Satriani, Mark Tremonti, or Les Paul. But the truth is…I just need to be me. God will shape me into a unique instrument that makes music for His glory and to further His kingdom. Then, if by chance anyone should ever sit down and try to learn what I’ve done, my prayer is that they’ll simply be learning to let the Virtuoso Creator make His music through them as well.

Time Flies

In the past few months, I’ve been going through and interesting phase. I look in the mirror, and I see the same face I’ve seen for years. Of course, there have been some changes, but since I see myself every day, those differences come so gradually that it’s hard to pinpoint them as they’re happening. Probably because not all of those changes are physical, and will show up in a mirror!

I guess somewhere in the process of graduating college, getting a job, working full-time, getting married, having kids, and continuing to work, the time flew by fast enough, and I became a full-blown adult. According to law, I have passed most of the age-restrictions that are laid down in our country. (Accept for running for President, and that doesn’t matter as I’d never want that job!) The next ones I reach will be the ones that take me back to the discounted rates on coffee and meals!

My problem is that it’s been very hard for me to consider myself a “Grown up.” Maybe it’s because I work with teenagers and children. It could possibly be because I am younger than most of my staff colleagues. (But just barely!) I’ve thought about this, and I think the reason I struggle with it is because I have held the notion that “grown ups” have it figured out. All the adults I ever looked up to seemed to have a much stronger inkling of what was going on than I did. They always seemed to have an answer or have a system in place for getting them through tough times, and they certainly had more confidence in themselves than I felt.

When we are younger, we perceive things differently, and our memories are based on these perceptions. In college, I had the opportunity to visit a church we attended when I was still only four years old. In my mind, I remembered the sanctuary to be a very large, vast room with giant pews and huge windows. Sixteen years later, I discovered that the room was actually smaller than many church sanctuaries I had seen, and the pews were barely waist-high. The windows were still a pretty-good size, but not what I would consider “huge.” I remembered the room from a four-year-old perspective, where everything is larger. The room didn’t shrink, but as I grew, my perception changed, and made the room appear smaller than in my memories.

As a younger person, my perceptions of adults as were based on the fact that I didn’t always understand what was going on in the real world. I hadn’t the slightest awareness that small children running wild did cause unseen stress in the parents. It never occurred to me that my mentors may be just as confused about some issues as I was, and were just doing their best to help me stay on track.

Realizing that I’m now the one looking for the best encouragement to give the teenagers, and worrying about what church members will say about my children helps me to see things in an appropriate perspective. No, I don’t have it all together, but I certainly have numerous responsibilities. Each one of those represents individuals or groups who depend on me and trust me, and to earn that kind of trust, I must have done something right. I wish I could say that I was always very confident, but that’s not quite true. I do have faith that God will guide me, and will work to succeed even when I fail. If that brings about what others see as confidence, then it’s out of my hands. I hope to point people towards God, and as trite as that may sound, it’s the truth.

Bon Jovi’s song “Just Older,” says this: “Well, I look in the mirror, I don’t hate what I see, there’s a few more lines staring back at me…Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I’m in it’s alright with me, it’s not old…just older.”

Recognizing that I’m a “grown up” doesn’t mean I have to quit living young. I still ride all the roller coasters, and still play hard when we go to camp with the youth group. But, unlike myself even ten years ago, I understand more about my limits, and recognize the vastness of what I don’t know yet. There’s still a lot to learn, and as a “grown up,” I appreciate knowing that.

Through Smoke

I am a really big fan of the band Needtobreathe. If you don't know them, you should check them out. They've been around for awhile, and just keep getting better. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking with it! On their most recent album, they have a song called, "Through Smoke." The lyrics to this song sound to me like a cry from one who has a belief in God, and even when things in life get hazy through the smoke of confusion and doubt, they trust that God can find them anyway. (More artistic and poetic people might disagree, but we're all entitled to differing opinions!)

When I was a senior in high school, I worked as a cashier at Kmart. One evening, they moved me to the pharmacy to fill in for one of their usual pharmacy cashiers that was sick. I discovered just how little I knew about medicines and such! One particular story stands out in my memories of that day.

A lady that looked to be in her late 20's came back to the pharmacy department, and began to scan through and examine the different boxes containing all the gums, patches, and other systems designed to help people quit smoking. I very distinctly remember the look in her eyes as she turned to me after ten minutes of reading different packaging. She had a very real look of pleading, and almost desperation to her. She asked me if I knew which one would work the best or was most-recommended.

Admitting my ignorance, and trying to be understanding, I told her I'd ask the pharmacist. I stepped into his little area, and relayed the question. He stepped out and with almost a chuckle, told her that really they were all pretty much worthless and didn't do enough to really help. The best way to quit was just flat will power.

I felt horrible for this poor lady. Here she was, trying to quit an unhealthy habit, and looking to someone she thought she could trust for a little help, and probably even a little hope. Unfortunately, the phamacists was a bit cold and didn't seem to deliver on either of those. After he stepped away, she hesitantly picked one of the boxes and brought it over to my register. Attempting a smile, she said, "I guess I'll just try this one, and see what happens." She tried to sound positive, but even then, I could tell that she wasn't hopeful, no thanks to the pharmacists.

I rung her out, and wished her luck in quitting. It seemed like the right thing to do, and was a desperate attempt to show her some kindness after the "professional" was such a nay-sayer. After she walked away, I stepped back into the pharmacy booth to ask another question and discovered a horrifying event. While he was filling a prescription bottle, the pharmacist was actually smoking, and had a cigarette with almost an inch of ash hanging precariously from his lips. No wonder he didn't seem to offer much hope; he was a smoker himself! Unlike the lady who wanted to stop, this guy didn't seem to care, and obviously had no intention of quitting.

I learned two important lessons that night. The first was to never, EVER, have a prescription filled at this particular pharmacy. The second is that many times, people are desperately seeking help in finding freedom from the ensnaring patterns of sin in their lives. They look for answers, but only get more confused, filling their life with this smoke. When they have trouble making sense of all the solutions and just get further lost in the cloud, they ask for help. Unfortunately, many of the people who claim to be "professionals" in this matter are in no better position to help than the ones looking for freedom. They are in the same type of situation, but have justified being there so much that they become as smug and/or negative as that pharmacist!

We are all sinners, caught in the same net. There's no way of ignoring what scripture says of that. (Romans 3:23) But, God does forgive us in Christ (1 John 1:9), and helps us to throw off the sins that trap us. (Hebrews 12:1) Yes, Christians still make mistakes, but we know that we don't necessarily have to find our way out of the smoke. We just know that we can call on One who rises above the smoke and can find us, even when we can't see Him. We can be free from the permanent enslavement of sin and can experience forgiveness on a level unlike anything this world can offer.

If we know people who are looking for relief, we need to offer them an “introduction” to who we know. They will still have the choice to believe or deny what we share, but if we don’t try, they may never know. We never know which seed we plant will grow, but by trying, we are at least extending hope to those who have the look of desperation in their eyes. Who knows? We may have the privilege of watching them come to know The One who never loses sight of them through all of their smoke. What a breath of fresh air that will be!

Painted Days

We finally got around to doing some painting at our house. We moved in a few months ago, and I was convinced that with a few pictures and maybe some curtains and stuff, white walls were sufficient and looked nice. However, with a baby on the way, I agreed with my wife that a bit of paint in the nursery would help. After all, my other sons have posters of Batman, Transformers, and Pixar’s CARS all over the walls, so why shouldn’t the baby get some kind of decoration?

What started out as the baby’s room became a discussion about doing the family room as well. (I think I got suckered, but the jury is still out on that one.) Then, we decided that since we would have those two rooms, we might as well go ahead and connect them by painting the hallway in between them.

So, after two very long days of taping baseboards and ceilings--because I don’t trust my ability to stop exactly at the corner, and moving all kinds of furniture, and applying what ended up being a combination of 11 coats of paint to the walls, and then cleaning up all the rollers, brushes, and pans, and taking roughly 14 ibuprofen to deal with the “paint fume headache,” the job was done.

The first thing I thought about was how disappointing it was. NOT because it looked bad, but because of the exact opposite. It looked SO good that it made the remaining walls look pretty plain and institutional. I appreciate the new paint and really do like it a lot, but now I dread the standard that has been set in the house. (Disclaimer: I realize that anyone who now sees my house has their expectations lifted to way beyond what is currently real in our house. This is not my fault, and I can’t be held responsible if you don’t have the same tastes as my wife and me. Besides, we’re the ones who live there, not you.)

There are days in my life when I am incredibly productive at work, I am a prime candidate for the “Second-Best Father of All Time” with my kids, I make even the most hardened stranger smile with my warm greetings, and the days when I can do no wrong. Unfortunately, there are also days when I’d be lucky to pull off a mediocre rating on anything. The problem is when I compare the two days. The “okay” day only looks worse next to the really good day. Maybe I should stop the comparison…

No two days are alike. What happens on Monday cannot realistically be duplicated on Tuesday, because what happened on Saturday and Sunday affects Monday, and since you then must throw Monday in the mix that can change and sour or lighten you mood and distort your normal sleep routines causing a whole array of mental and synaptic irregularities, Tuesday simply cannot rationally be compared to or live up to the same standards and expectations Monday held. Therefore, one cannot logically use one day as a standard by which to measure the quality of another day. As the old saying goes, “It’s like comparing apples and Mack Trucks.”

The way I see it, each day is a gift anyway. I’m going to try and enjoy each day for what it is, and welcome the challenges that come my way as an opportunity to grow stronger and hopefully more wise. Yes, I drop that ball by 8:45 AM on many days, but I like to think of it as “dribbling.” Whatever your method to the madness, recognize that every morning is a new day, and while we all have different struggles, we have the choice to look for the blessings and lessons that God can give us through all circumstances, or we can pack it up and just sleep until tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll pull out your glasses!